Emeralds & Sapphires in a Blizzard
by NYC Sam Shipper
Summary: Sam fell in love with her 10 years ago, but couldn't do anything about it. What happens when the woman of his dreams shows up without warning? Reviews precipitate new chapter uploads! (Read: feedback makes me work faster!)
1. A trigger of swirling white

Sam stood in his darkened bedroom and watched the snowstorm raging outside. "It's white", he thought, "Just like a new piece of paper".

He wasn't thinking about paper.

He watched the snowstorm and his life came into view. The lost moments that, even now, he wanted to share with his dad. He wanted to wind everything back so that his father _could_ be there for the little moments.

The time he was 8 and he fell off his bike 3 houses down. After Mike's mom cleaned him up and bandaged it, he walked home only to find it empty.

That night, when he was sure his parents were asleep; he took his pillow and blanket and went to his treehouse. He put his head on the pillow and started to cry. "Daddy," he said through his tears, "you were s'posed to be here today. I came home after I fell off my bike and nobody was here. Did I do somethin' to make you so mad at me that you didn't want to be here with me after school? I'm really very sorry if I did", he sniffled. As his tears threatened to break again, he whispered, "Daddy, do you still love me?"

His first regatta cup when he was 15. He felt his heart constrict when the race finished and saw his mom giddy with happiness. All of the other fathers were there, congratulating their sons, but his dad wasn't. The congratulations from his friends' fathers were nice, but he wanted to hear his father say it and pat him on the back for it. He wanted so much to hear his father say, "I'm very proud of you, Sam." He really just wanted to go home. In his room, he put the trophy on a shelf and stepped back to admire it when he felt his eyes sting and the tears tracing down his face.

"Daddy, do you still love me?"

His high school graduation. He was first in his class and was giving the valedictory address. As his eyes scanned the crowd, he saw his mother in tears but his father was nowhere in the audience. He'd wanted him to be here for this. To hear his speech, to watch him receive his diploma. To see him get the one thing he'd never imaged. The Superintendent called him up and told him that he had a full academic scholarship to Princeton: tuition, room and board. He wouldn't have to worry about a thing. Later that night, after he'd come home from all of the parties, he saw his diploma and certificate from Princeton on the kitchen table. Knowing that his father hadn't seen them, he took them up to his room, sat on the bed and looked them both over. Even now, tears threatened his happiness. "Dad," he whispered when he looked at them, "you would've been so proud of me if you had been there."

"Daddy, do you still love me?"

His first homecoming weekend at Princeton. He knew that his mom wasn't coming and he understood, but he'd hoped that his dad would come. He missed them so very much. As much as he loved being at Princeton, he was still far from home and wished for something familiar, comforts from home. Friday morning of Homecoming, Sam checked his voicemail after coming in from his class and had a message from his dad. He was sorry but he couldn't come out this weekend, either. Some client meeting or firm business, he wasn't sure since he'd stopped listening after his dad said he wasn't going to be there. He felt his heart constrict a little more and a sick feeling settle in his stomach. That's when the anger started.

"Daddy, do you still love me?"

His father had made it to his Princeton and Duke graduations and was ecstatic when Sam told him he had to study for the NY Bar Exam because he'd been offered a junior counselor position at Dewey Ballantine. His score was only 3 points away from being perfect. He got the call 2 days before he was to be sworn in as a member of the NY Bar. He'd stopped listening to his messages after he'd said he couldn't be there. His heart constricted again, but not as much as it did at the swearing-in ceremony.

As Sam waited for his chance to sign the register, he scanned the crowd as a reflex. His mom was there and looked like she was going to fly through one of the windows and tell the world that her son was a practicing lawyer now. That's when he really felt the absence of his father. The man that he'd worshipped since before he could walk wasn't here to watch his son join his profession, as Sam had always wanted to. They would still be father and son, but now they were colleagues as well. That's when his heart really constricted and he could feel another layer of anger settle into his stomach.

"Daddy, do you still love me?"

They called each other not too often, since they were both busy. His father had been home when he'd brought Lisa out the first time since they got engaged and he told Sam right then that once they had a date to call and let him know about it so he could be there. Sam knew he'd be calling his assistant rather than his father so that she could put it in his schedule.

"Daddy, do you still love me?"

He'd called his dad about the breakup and going to work on Bartlet's campaign. He had to leave messages since he didn't pick up his cell when he called. He called to congratulate Sam after Illinois and came to some of the Bartlet events around Santa Monica, one of which he was able to bring them back to meet his friends and to introduce them to Governor and Dr. Bartlet after the event was over. He gave his regrets when they invited his parents to dinner, and the constriction began again and the anger grew a little bit larger.

"Daddy, do you still love me?"

They really didn't talk much after that. Sam got busy with the election, then the inaugural speech. Occasional calls, emails and genetics held them together. It was one of those occasional calls that caused the harsh implosion of his family.


	2. Nuclear bombs aren’t the only things tha...

It came in the late afternoon, after Nancy had jeopardized her job to get Sam the information he needed. Reading the file, he saw damming evidence of Daniel Gault's espionage activities. This person, whose innocence he had believed in unconditionally, even writing his junior thesis on it while at Princeton and sending Gault's son a copy, actually was a Russian spy. There was no way he could put this man on the pardons list. Now he had to go upstairs and tell Donna's friend that her grandfather had been a spy. Donna convinced him to tell her that he'd try again in 3 months. She needed this, Donna said, because her father was dying. This would give them some hope.

After telling Donna's friend that he'd try again in 3 months, he could see the tension melt away from her face. After she'd left, he told Donna that initially he'd been very angry because she manipulated him. But, he said, he'd forgive her because when he saw the tension leave Stephanie's face, he knew that he'd given some hope to both to her and her dying father. What he didn't tell her was that one of his long-held beliefs was murdered because of this favor that she'd asked of him. When Donna left, he closed his door, sat down at his desk and tried to clear his head. He was like this for 45 minutes. Then his line rang, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Sam Seaborn"

"Hi, son"

"How're you doing, Dad?"

"Fine, Sam. The firm's doing well, too. We just brought on a new partner. Reminds me a lot of you."

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"Well, Sam, I have to tell you something. But before I tell you, I want you to remember that I've loved you since before you were born."

Sam laughed at that, "I know that, Dad. I love you, too. Now, tell me what's wrong." Suddenly, he started to feel an icy dread climb up his spine, but dismissed it.

"Sam, I've been having an affair with a woman in Santa Monica for the last 28 years."

All of his other thoughts came to a screeching halt. His father'd kept talking, but he didn't hear much of what he'd been saying.

Affair...woman....Santa Monica...28 years.

That was nearly his entirely life.

"Was she the reason you missed my first regatta, my high school graduation, my first homecoming weekend, my admission to the Bar? Was she the reason you declined the President and Dr. Bartlet's dinner invitation after that event when I introduced you?"

"Sam, you have to understand..."

"It's a very simple question, Dad. Yes or no?"

There was silence on the other end. Sam thought he knew what the answer would be, but he needed to hear his father say it to confirm his suspicions.

He heard an answer on the other end.

"Dad, I couldn't hear you. What did you say?"

He heard his father take a deep breath before he spoke.

"I'm very sorry, son, but yes, she was."

Sam's brain went blank as the core of his existence imploded around him. The family that he grew up in hadn't really been a family at all.

"Sam? Honey, you still there?" The concern was evident in his father's voice.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"Are you OK?"

A switch flipped inside of him and the change was horribly evident.

"Am I OK?? Yeah, Dad, I'm doing great. I just found out that the man I've worshipped my entire existence has been leading a double life."

"Sam, it wasn't a double life."

"The HELL it wasn't." Toby looked through the glass window that their offices shared. He tried to back away before Sam saw him. Sam strode to the front windows and turned on the light. Then, he dropped the blinds, hard, on their shared window. He'd seen Sam's face, and it scared even him. It was a mix of anger and hatred.

Sam laughed bitterly, "Oh, that's right, of COURSE it was. You had us and you had her in Santa Monica. You only came to us when you needed your family fix, then you went back to her and the fun in Santa Monica."

"Now, Sam, that's an unfair characterization of her...."

"Do I care? DO I CARE? No, Dad, I don't because from where I am, that's exactly what it looks like to me!! You were gone for weeks on business trips, and now I see those trips were to her. Do you know what it's like to get teased and humiliated because only your mother shows up for things? Do you know the disappointment I felt when I won my first regatta cup, when I was sworn in to the Bar and you weren't there? Well, I'm going to tell you that, and then I don't want you to call me unless I've called you for whatever reason.

It was horrible, Dad. I was called so many awful things. Things that children weren't supposed to know, but they did and they laid it all out on me. You have no idea how many times I got sent home while in elementary school for fighting, because I was defending you!! Defending the fact that I did have a father! I saw so many of my friends being congratulated by their fathers after the regatta that it hurt. I wanted you to watch me sail, to be proud of me when we finished, especially since we'd won. I just asked Mom to bring me home. Dad, your not being there hurt me so much it nearly made me sick.

When I was sworn into the Bar, I needed you there. Finally, we weren't just father and son anymore, we were colleagues. When I signed the register, I wanted you there because I wanted to be with you the first moments that I was a real lawyer. I wanted to be able to tell you and Mom that I'd finally become what I'd wished for since I was very, very little: A lawyer, just like my dad.

Remember the time when you and Mom found me in the treehouse even though you'd put me to bed in my room? I went out there after you were asleep. I went out there because I didn't want to wake you or Mom and cried so hard. I thought I'd done something horrible that made you not want to be there with me after school. I thought," Sam's voice suddenly got small and scared, "I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"Son, I've always loved you. Nothing ever changed that. I'm..."

"It's a little late for that, isn't it, Dad?"

"Yeah. But it doesn't stop me from wanting to say it. Sam, I have no right to ask for anything from you, but I'd appreciate it if you would do this for me."

Sam's reply was bitter and sharp, "What?"

"I called your mom before I called you. Would you please call her? I'm worried about her."

Sam's tone softened slightly, "Yeah, I'll call Mom."

"Son, I'll respect your wishes. I love you. Please, take care of your mother."

"I will."

They both hung up after that.

Sam called his mother and gave her a vague idea of his phone call. He could hear the tears in her voice. He made sure to call her at least once a week after that.

He hasn't spoken to his father since that call.


	3. There’s always a reason to go out in a s...

After looking at the clock, Sam blinked a few times, not believing he'd stood at the window for nearly 2 hours, lost in his memories. It was now dark outside, but the storm hadn't abated in the slightest. He decided to go downstairs and check the street. If it was reasonable enough, maybe he'd call Josh and go over there. He needed to get away from his apartment for a while. He felt trapped, caged there. He went to the front window of the living room to check the street. It looked OK to drive in. Maybe Josh wouldn't mind if he just showed up and scared him with the fact that he'd driven in this.

Sam stayed there watching the patterns that the snow made as it swirled under the streetlights. He noticed a lone figure coming up the street, fighting its way into the wind through the deep snow. He watched it make its way closer to his townhouse, amazed that someone was actually out in this. The figure stumbled just past his front steps and fell into the snow. He expected them to just get up and keep going. 'Hell, if they made it this far', he thought as he turned from the window, 'a little fall wouldn't stop them'.

He came out of the kitchen with a sandwich and some juice. He set them down on the coffee table and went to turn on the light in the corner near the front window. Glancing out the window as he reached towards the lamp, he saw that the figure hadn't moved from the spot where they'd fallen. In fact, it didn't even look like they'd moved at all.

He went to the front entry to throw on some boots and a coat. According to the forecast he'd gotten from Lt. Lowenbrau for that weekend, it had been quite cold during the day, and at night the temperature would drop even further with wind chills in the single digits to below zero. There was just no way that he could leave them out there; it would just be too cruel. Grabbing his keys from the table, he charged out into the swirling white.

The snow nearly blinded him, and the wind wasn't much help either, since it was spinning the falling snow as well as pulling up flakes from the surface for a repeat aerial performance. The snow on the ground was up to his knees, which made it difficult for him to walk. 'If I didn't enjoy working in the White House so much,' he thought ruefully as he made his way through the snow, 'I'd be booking the next non-stop to LAX. How can anyone live with this?' When he was only a step away from them, he noticed the snow that had collected in the crevices of their coat, hat and anything else they were wearing. He tried to shake the person to wake them, but that wasn't working at all. Knowing that he had to get them inside before this got any worse, he bent over and picked them up, noticing as he did that she had a small handbag clutched in one hand. As he carried her back to his townhouse, he couldn't believe how light she was. He'd have thought for sure if she was this light, she'd have been picked up by the wind and blown to who knows where.

The front door hadn't closed fully when he left, so he was able to kick the door in without disturbing the woman in his arms and shut it behind them. Laying her on one of the couches in the living room, he threw off his coat and began to take off all of the outerwear she had on. Sam could see that she knew how to dress for the weather. He pulled off her hat and scarf and saw that her face was bright red from the cold. Her gloves came off and her hands were nearly as cold as her face.

Propping her up on the couch, he removed her coat and pulled off her boots. Her feet and toes felt like ice through her socks; they and her jeans were wet through with snow, as was her coat. Nervously, he slid a tentative hand up her back beneath the shirt she was wearing and discovered that she was chilled there as well. He gently laid her back on the couch and went upstairs to get her a pair of his socks, a sweatshirt and some sweats. She had to get out of those clothes before she got much colder.

She was still out when Sam gingerly put her in the sweats that he'd brought down. He'd never seen this woman, and the last thing that he wanted was her accusing him of rape or assault when all he'd done was bring her in from the freezing cold. He started to gently massage her feet, taking great care not to rub them in case she had frostbite, to bring back the blood supply. He did the same with her hands, noticing as he removed the ring and watch she wore how small and delicate they were. After slipping a pair of socks over them to help keep them warm, he moved up to her face.

He worked on warming her ears first, studying her face as he did so. It was round, with pale freckles that danced across her face over her cheekbones and small nose. Moving his hands from her ears to her face, he noticed her small, pink mouth. He was overcome with the urge to kiss her, but knew he couldn't. Brushing his thumbs over her eyelids, he wondered what kind of eyes she had. Gentle, kind and compassionate or hard, icy and unreadable? What color were they: green, hazel, or blue, like his own? He softly touched her dark blonde hair and admired the copper and light blonde that showed up here and there. They made her hair look almost auburn with bits of gold.

As he touched her hair, he heard her moan softly and shudder with cold. She began to shiver slightly and spoke in a barely audible whisper, Need to...get...home. So... very... cold." He tucked an extra blanket around her, started to touch her hair and whispered quietly to calm her fears. "Hush, you're safe and warm here. You're out of the snow and wind. Just rest, I'll be right here to take care of you. Sleep, my little china doll, sleep." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he felt like he'd made a huge mistake. She wasn't 'his' by any stretch. What was he thinking when he'd said it? As the minutes ticked by, he convinced himself that he'd said it as an endearment, something to make her feel safe and secure so she could rest. He tucked a second blanket around her feet to make sure that she was good and warm.

Once she'd settled into sleep again, Sam let himself relax and eat his sandwich. Something about her was too familiar, but he couldn't place it. He felt like he already knew her a little bit, but there was no way for him to know for sure, not now anyway. He let the thought go and worked on the remarks that were needed for the middle of the week. Maybe if he got most of it done now, the sooner Toby could hack it up and it could be edited and polished in time for the event. He worked on them a while, glancing up every so often to the young woman bundled up on his couch. During one of these glances, he noticed the clock out of the corner of his eye. 2:20AM. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He made sure everything was locked up and off for the night.

He was afraid that moving her up to the guest room might wake her, but he didn't want to be far in case she did wake up during the night. Sam knew that she'd be confused and disoriented if she was by herself, but rest in a proper bed would probably help her more than anything. Making his decision, he swept her up and brought her upstairs to the guest room. He made sure that she had plenty of blankets in case she got cold again during the night, the nightlight in the room was bright enough for her to find her way, and that he left the vanity light on. He opened the blinds slightly, allowing some of the light from the street to filter in. As he left the room, he made sure that she was tucked in securely, smoothed back her hair and kissed her forehead lightly. "Good night, my little china doll. You're safe here." Even in this light she looked so familiar, but he shook it off and went to bed himself.


	4. Old dreams and memories

He woke with a start. Sitting up in bed, his heart was pounding and he couldn't breathe.

Looking at the clock, he noticed that he had about an hour before his alarm was to go off. He lay back down and began to think about his dream. One of the things that startled him was that this was a memory that surfaced whenever he wondered if he'd ever find his completing happiness. He hadn't had this dream in nearly a year. Why did it come back now?

_He walked out to the balcony in sweats and a t-shirt towards a figure wrapped in a blanket standing out there watching the snow fall softly. He put his hand on the shoulder of the blanketed figure. _

"_What're you doing out here? It's 2:30 in the morning. Aren't you tired at all?"_

"_No, I'm too excited. I can't believe it. They won and gave me the best birthday present in my life. I'll remember everything about this weekend for the rest of my life."_

"_I'm glad that you had such a good time. Did you tell Mike yet?"_

"_No. I'll tell him in the morning. He wouldn't have remembered if I told him tonight, anyway. What about you?" She asked as she turned towards him, "I hope you had a good time, too."_

_He looked down at her. "I had a great time. The best part of the whole weekend was meeting you."_

"_Really?," she asked quietly. "Why would meeting a 16-year old girl be the best part of your weekend?"_

_He saw that she was shivering under the blanket. He enveloped her in a hug before he spoke. "It is when said 16-year old is smarter than most of your classmates. When she's funnier than a lot of your friends and can cut them down to size in a matter of seconds. When her sarcasm and wit are outpaced by her kindness and capacity to love. And," he added, as his voice became very soft and he caressed her cheek with tips of his fingers, with no more pressure than a whisper, "when her external beauty compliments the beauty that radiates from her heart."_

_She dropped her eyes, suddenly shy at all of the compliments. He tipped her chin up so that she was looking up at him and saw the tears in her eyes which sliced through his heart with such swiftness and intensity that it left him breathless. The expression on her face reminded him of a hurt child silently begging for some show of affection. "No one's ever said anything like this to you, have they?" She shook her head slightly, dropping her eyes again. His heart ached with the knowledge that she hadn't been complimented like this. How could no one see these things about her; things that were painfully obvious to him, and he'd only known her for maybe 2 days? He brought her face up again, looked into her green-gold eyes and found something that shocked him to the core._

_He saw her heart at that instant. Clear and pure, innocent and trusting, fragile as blown glass. He saw the passion and love that were locked away inside, her need to be able to give them to someone, the faith that who she gave it to would be as kind, gentle and loving as she was with them, and the fear that if she did give and the person was rough and harsh with her feelings and emotions, she'd be deeply hurt and shattered inside, afraid to trust, to give, too injured and scared to try again. In that instant, he knew. He could see his entire life in her eyes._

_Slowly, he bent his head towards hers. "Have you ever been kissed before, Katie?," he asked softly. He didn't want to embarrass her or make her even shyer if she hadn't. She shook her head. 'Considering that no one could see what was in front of them, I guess I shouldn't be surprised,' he thought. He looked into her eyes, the eyes of a true innocent, and whispered, "May I have the honor?" "You may, Sam," she whispered back, just before their lips touched._

_He didn't want to frighten her, so he started slow. Soft, small kisses at first, gentle and sweet to coax her out of her shyness. The small kisses began to grow longer as things went on. Gently, he traced her lips and the shape of her mouth with the tip of his tongue, an unspoken request for permission to go further. She gave a small sigh, her lips parting ever so slightly. Softly, he ran the tip of his tongue along the inside of her lips, quietly coaxing her tongue and her passion to come out to play._

_She darted her tongue out to touch his at unpredictable intervals, enjoying the electric sensations when she did. He could feel the hesitation in her touch. Suddenly, Sam broke the kiss, but only briefly. "Let yourself enjoy it, Katie. I'll be here to catch you when you fall," he whispered against her lips. "Sam...," she sighed. He resumed the kiss almost exactly where they'd left off, but things changed. She deepened the kiss faster than he'd expected, and he heard a small moan of pleasure from her, and he responded in kind. He felt the world drop away from them; she was the only solid thing for him to hold onto in that moment. She was what he wanted, no, needed. She was so idealistic, so trusting, a lot like he was. She was the big thing that was missing from his life._

_He felt her drop slightly as her knees buckled. Breaking the kiss, he held her close so she knew that she was safe. He stepped back slightly to look at her, and he could see the sparkle in her eyes which lit up her whole face. He caressed her face and could feel her lean into his touch. "Do you feel it too, Sam?," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. He didn't have to ask what she meant, he knew. "I do, Katie," he replied as he brought her closer, the pull between them too strong to deny, "I do." He would always remember how her face looked in the moonlight..._

Sam shot up in bed. Could this woman that he brought in from the snow be her? How could he be sure he wasn't just imagining all of this to make himself feel better?

He quietly stepped into the guest room and knelt next to the bed to watch her sleep. She looked so much like Kate in this light; he could feel the tears in his eyes and a sharp pain in the part of his heart that had always been hers. It was still very tender, even after all these years. After she went back home, he hadn't really heard anything from her since and missed her more than he'd ever admit to anyone.

During what would later be termed the last six months of their relationship, Lisa thought he was cheating on her with Kate; they'd had so many fights whenever he tried to convince her that she was wrong, but she always pointed to the picture of the 3 of them from the game that he kept at his desk both at work and in the study as proof.

_"You keep telling me that you have this picture up because it's you and your best friend from Duke. Why can't you just tell me the truth? The only reason you keep it out is because of her. It was the first thing up when we moved in and it'll be the last thing down when we move out. Even in your office, it has a place of honor where you'd expect our engagement picture to be. Damn it, Sam, why can't you just come out and just admit that you're sleeping with her?"_

Sam had inwardly winced when Lisa said that during one of their arguments. Deep down, he knew that she was partially right. For most of their relationship, whenever he kissed Lisa or made love to her, a small part of him _wanted_ it to be Kate, in fact, that part of him would pretend it _was_ Kate.

That picture was the only thing that he took with him from Gage Whitney the day he left with Josh for New Hampshire.


	5. Finding your bearings

He touched her face ever so gently so as not to wake her. The texture of her skin was so much like that early spring night in Minneapolis. He hoped against all logic that the woman in front of him was Kate. He wanted to finally be able to tell her what he felt, even after all these years. But watching her sleep wasn't going to make the answers come any sooner, so he kissed her forehead lightly and retreated to his bedroom to try to sleep.

The phone rang 20 minutes before the alarm, with Leo on the other end telling him that the Federal government was closed for the day. If there was a National crisis, they'd track him down. Hanging up the phone, Sam turned off the alarm and fell into a dreamless sleep. He didn't move when his door opened.

She woke to the pale sunlight coming in through the window. Blinking her eyes, she sat up slowly, unsure of her environment. The last thing she remembered was falling in the snow and hoping that she'd be home soon. She looked down and didn't recognize the clothes she had on. A Princeton sweatshirt and pair of Duke sweats; she was certain that these weren't hers. She looked around the room for clues as she pulled the socks off her hands and feet. It was comfortable and well decorated, but beyond that it was fairly nondescript. A look around this place was definitely in order.

She quietly padded down the stairs to the living room. Whoever brought her here definitely had nice taste. It looked like a room from a high-end decorating magazine. 2 couches, a chair and ottoman in forest green and navy with pale cream berber wall to wall carpeting that had threading of the same green and navy as in the furniture, as well as some in cranberry. Bookcases filled nearly to the top with nearly every book imaginable, and the top shelves reserved for photos and other little items.

She noticed a few ship models in bottles up towards the top, along with some other little nautical pieces here and there throughout the room. Looking over the walls, this person's taste in art was definitely not lacking, either. She recognized a few of the pieces; Ginzburg's 'Crimson Solitude' and 'Wrapped in Time', along with some classic prints. Glancing at the coffee table; she saw a small plate and glass. 'Well,' she thought as she picked them up, 'since this person's been so nice to me, I should probably take these into the kitchen for them. I don't want them to think that I'm ungrateful.'

The kitchen was nearly as beautiful as the living room had been. Dark blue floor tiles with black grouting and black marble countertops. All the appliances were stainless steel, and the cabinet facings were done in a blue barely lighter than the tiling. 'A bit small,' she thought as she put the items in the sink, 'and no one's kitchen is this clean, unless they hardly ever use it.' Opening the fridge, she was surprised to see it nearly empty, except for a few little things here and there. "Guess that confirms my suspicions about how often the kitchen gets used," she quietly said to herself.

Walking back out to the living room, she noticed a room with a partially open door. Being more curious than she should be, she slowly pushed the door open to get a look. Right away she knew that this was their home office. Bookcases lined the wall, filled top to bottom with legal texts and binders. The desk was covered in paperwork and the monitor stuck out like a red flag in a storm. She noticed the degrees on the wall, impressed when she saw that they were from Princeton University and Duke Law. Being the classic New Yorker that she was, she couldn't help thinking where his sanity had gone, since he did his undergrad work in Jersey.

The next thing that caught her eye was a framed certificate that looked like it had been done entirely in calligraphy. It was in a spot that was a little over her head, but she tried to read it as best she could.

"_...designates Samuel Norman Seaborn to the post of Deputy Communications Director and Special Assistant to the President. He is authorized to execute and fulfill the duties of this office with all the powers and privileges and subject to the conditions prescribed._

_Josiah Bartlet, President of the United States January 20, 1999_"

From her vantage point, she could see the signature and a bluish colored mark near it. Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat. Someone from the White House was nice enough to bring her into their home? She couldn't believe it. Nothing like this ever happened to her. She looked around the office as she tried to catch her breath, but the next thing her eye settled on knocked everything out of her.

There was a photo on one of the shelves above the desk that looked familiar. She stepped closer to the desk to get a better look. She felt like she'd just been punched in the stomach.


	6. Anywhere but here

It was a photo of 3 people taken in the stands at a basketball game. They all looked excited, but the girl in the picture looked like she was going to burst. She looked at the 2 men flanking the girl. She recognized herself as the one in the middle, and her cousin on her left and the one on the right was.... Suddenly, it all came together with a frighteningly loud 'click'.

She was in Sam's house.

She left the office as fast as she could without disturbing anything and made sure that the door was closed the way it had been when she entered it. She stumbled out to the living room and fell onto one of the couches, gasping for air.

Sam.

She never thought she'd ever see him again. Mike hadn't really mentioned him on his visits home, and she was too afraid to ask. She didn't want to seem like swooning teenager with a crush, more importantly, she hadn't wanted him to laugh at her. She'd felt something when they kissed that night after the game. Not knowing how he felt about this, she put everything away deep inside and never brought it up.

However, she never could fully pack away the feelings that she'd had when they kissed. He made her feel beautiful, like she was the only one in the world. Her heart raced when he gave her that first hug, and she'd felt like she was going to jump out of her skin the first time their lips touched. She just wanted to stay with him like that forever. For the first time in her life, she'd finally found a place where she felt safe and valued.

Once she was able to get her breathing under control, she quietly walked up the stairs, but instead of going back into the guest room, she gently pushed open his bedroom door. She took two steps in and looked at the figure on the bed. The short, dark hair and the sweet, almost innocent, childlike face; there was no way it could be anyone else. It was Sam, just as she'd remembered him. Kate gave in to her urge and walked over to the bed, pulling the blankets up around him and making sure that he was securely tucked in. He stirred slightly, mumbling as he did so. She brushed back his hair and whispered, "It's OK, Sam. I'm here. Go back to sleep."

Closing the door, she retreated to the guest room. Finding out that she was with Sam was a huge shock. As she started to fall asleep again she whispered, "Thank you for keeping him safe all these years and for bringing me to him."

Sam slowly came out of his unconscious state and instinctively turned towards his nightstand. He fumbled for his glasses as he continued to breathe in the coffee that seemed so close. Once he put on his glasses, he sat up and reached for the mug that was on the stand. There was no way this came from the coffeemaker downstairs; it was just too good. With the mug in one hand, he opened the note that had been propped up next to the mug:

_Sam-_

_Thought that this would wake you up a lot easier than anything else I could come up with. Don't let breakfast get cold._

_-K.E.D._

Seeing the initials on the note, the hope that he'd been holding onto for the last 7-8 hours began to dissipate and the familiar ache resurfaced. The woman that he'd brought in from the snow wasn't Kate. He blinked back the tears that had started to form. This woman hadn't done anything wrong; it wasn't her fault that she wasn't who he hoped she'd be. Once he felt that he could keep these feelings under control, he started downstairs to meet the woman he'd found in the snow.


	7. Questions, confusion and the pink elepha...

Kate started to plate the breakfast that she'd made for the two of them. Unfortunately, since it didn't seem like he'd been shopping in a while, she had to do a lot of improvising, but a majority of the items in the fridge were good, so she had more to work with than expected. She put together Sam's plate first; pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. She put it at his spot and went back into the kitchen to get her plate together. She couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he realized who she was.

Looking toward the dining table, he could see the table laid out for breakfast. 2 place settings, the steel carafe from the coffeemaker and various other little things. He noticed that 1 plate was already out and as he sat down, he saw the note folded at the top of the plate.

_Go ahead and eat. You didn't have much last night, so don't tell me you're not hungry._

_-K.E.D._

He smiled. Whoever she was, she was definitely good. How she knew what he liked, he had no idea, but she was an amazing cook. This was even better than some of the breakfasts he'd had when he stayed at Hotel Beau Rivage the few times he'd gone to Nice. She'd even put the papers out. 'I could get used to this very easily,' he thought as he opened up the National section.

Kate peeked out of the kitchen to see Sam at the table reading the paper with his glasses halfway down his nose. 'He's so much better-looking than when I first met him,' she thought, "but he seems like the same sweet guy that kissed me in Minneapolis. Well, it's now or never. Let's go see if his memory matches his looks." She picked up her plate and walked out toward the table.

He looked up from the paper when he heard footsteps coming from the kitchen and stood when he saw that it was her. She definitely looked better than the pale, cold figure that had lain on his couch last night. Even though he had a gut feeling that she wasn't Kate, he would ask anyway. If nothing else, then he'd find out more about this woman who was braver than even the DCDOT the night before.

"Good morning," he said as he took his glasses off, "How're you feeling this morning?"

"Better, thanks. You really didn't have to do all of this. I'd hate to think that I put you out at all."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're feeling better. I don't mean to sound forward, but would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"

"As long as you'll tell me what you think of breakfast."

"It's great. The scariest thing is that it's everything I wish I could have for breakfast but never have time for. Did you bring in a new coffeemaker that I don't know about? 'Cause whenever I make it it's nowhere near this good."

"No, yours just needed a good, thorough scrub. That's why it tastes better. Now, what did you want to ask me?"

"Well, I guess your name would be a good start."

"Kate Dillon."

"But your initials..."

"I know. My full name is Katrien Elizabeth Dillon."

She and Sam continued to ask each other questions about college and work while they ate breakfast. The conversation between them was easy and relaxed, and the few silences that happened were comfortable ones. It was relaxed enough that she decided to take a leap and ask him the question she had from earlier.

"Sam, I know you told me that you went to Princeton, but why did you decide to go there?"

"Well, they basically gave me a free ride: tuition, room, board, all of it. The school sent the notification to the district superintendent instead of me. He presented it to me at graduation. I'd love to know if there were photos of that moment. I'd really like to see what my face looked like when the announcement was made."

"OK, financial aid is a valid reason."

"What do you mean, 'financial aid is a valid reason'?" He looked at her warily. "Princeton was my first choice. I'm very thankful that I was able to go."

"Well, I guess now I do have a valid basis for my question." She tipped her head slightly. "I'm from New York, so I have to ask this question. Are you sure that you were clinically sane when you made your initial decision about Princeton?"

Sam blinked at the question. "Um, yes, I'm fairly sure I was at the time." He looked at her with a mixture of hurt, confusion and anger on his face. Where in hell had that come from?

"I didn't mean to upset you and I'm sorry if I did. I'm surprised that you didn't pick up the habit when you worked in Manhattan."

"What habit?" He was really confused now.

"Well, New Yorkers are pretty much trained from birth that New Jersey is the armpit of the world. When I first moved down here, whenever someone told me that they were from New Jersey, my reply was always, 'I'm sorry.' It's just a matter of habit and pride."

"But you're not from New York, you're from Massachusetts."

"I picked it up pretty quick when I got to college. I've lived in New York for nearly 9 years. If I didn't act like a New Yorker, I'd be very concerned. I've always been proud to be one, and that'll never stop." Sam smiled to himself. She could be very forceful and defensive if challenged, and she didn't even care that they hadn't known each other 24 hours. He tried to bring the conversation back into shallow water and asked her the question he knew would settle his internal argument.


	8. Pink elephant has left the building

"I know this is going to sound way out from left field, but what was your favorite birthday present?"

Kate smiled to herself. She knew he'd ask her this. "That's easy. My 16th birthday. Duke won the NCAA Men's Basketball Final in Minneapolis. My shrewd cousin managed to get tickets and a hotel room. The two of us went with one of his best friends from law school. During halftime, he'd found someone to take a picture of the 3 of us in the stands. My copy has followed me everywhere and I've even made some additional copies to be on the safe side. It was one of the best nights of my life. Over the past few years, I've often wondered what happened to his friend. He and my cousin seemed very close when I visited."

Sam started to get a little nervous, trying not to let hopes soar over a possibility that, as far as he was concerned, didn't exist. He watched her pick up one of the phone handsets, bring it back to the table and dial a number. She threw the phone towards him and he was able to catch it.

"What'd you do that for?"

"Stop being an idiot, Sam. I just put in Mike's number. Hit send so you can talk to him for the first time in what...8 years?" She flashed a sweet smile at him, hoping the density issues that plagued him while he and Mike were in law school were taken care of.

He looked at her with a blank expression before his jaw dropped. "K-Katie? Is it really you?" He stood up from the table, his hands resting on it to help him keep his balance. He wasn't sure if this was really happening.

She looked him right in the eye. "Yeah, Sam, it's me, all grown up."

He felt relief flood his body. After all these years, she was standing right in front of him. He came around the side of the table and enveloped her in a hug. There was no doubt that this was real; she was real. Every wish he'd ever made, every dream he'd had since she left Duke to go back to Massachusetts was wrapped in his arms.

He looked down at her and saw the sparkle in her eyes. Brushing back a tendril of her hair he asked, "Why didn't you call after you left? I asked Mike about you, but I only got vague details here and there. I missed you, Katie. That kiss on the balcony was very real to me. I don't care if I was dating Lisa at the time, you claimed a part of my heart that night that's never belonged to anyone else. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but was afraid that Mike would ask me why and then I'd be forced to tell him everything."

She dropped her eyes before she spoke. "I didn't want to be forward or seem like a little girl with a crush. I knew that you were dating Lisa and thought you wouldn't want a silly teenager getting in the way of that, so I just stayed quiet." He stepped back from the hug and tipped her chin up so she was facing him.

"Look, why don't you go relax for a little while? You look like you need a bit more rest. I'll run up, take a shower and take care of the kitchen. My boss called me this morning to let me know that the government was closed and I don't have to go in. We can just crash on the couch and catch up. I want to know everything that's happened to you since you left after that weekend."

"Sounds like a good idea. I'll just snuggle up on the couch until you're done, unless you need my help?"

"I'll be fine. Go rest."

As they broke the hug, Sam caught her wrist before she turned to go into the living room. "I mean it, Katie. I really missed you."

"And I missed you, too, Sam. I missed you."


	9. Opening the closet

Sam was working on a new speech for the President's appearance at the NEA dinner next month. Education was a pet cause for him and he was so focused on the writing and the reference material he had, he didn't hear the knock at his office door. Finally, a voice brought him back from his reverie.

"Hello there, Sam."

He looked up and nearly fell over his chair as he stood and removed his glasses. "G-good morning, Dr. Bartlet." Sam's voice betrayed his fear of the woman in his doorway. Dr. Abbey Bartlet. The mention of her name alone struck fear in the heart of every man in the building, including that of her husband, the President of the United States.

Abbey rolled her eyes and smiled, "Relax, Sam. You haven't done anything truly stupid in quite a while. Unless you're hiding a new malady on me?" She raised an eyebrow before continuing. "I actually need to talk to you about something that concerns both of us. You mind if I close the blinds and the door?"

She had already closed the door and started moving towards the blinds. "Of course not, ma'am. My only concern is if the President walks by and finds you here with me in a closed office...well, I really don't want to be sent off to Siberia or North Africa." He came out from behind his desk and waited for her to sit in one of the wing chairs before joining her. Once they were settled, she asked him a question.

"So, Sam, how's this new girlfriend of yours?" Abbey sat back in the chair, enjoying the look on his face and waited for his response.

He was taken aback by the question. He hadn't said a thing to anyone, not even his parents and he knew for a fact that she hadn't said anything, either. How did she know about Kate? "Well, ma'am, um...," he blushed furiously as he tried to answer her question.

Abbey laughed at the expression on his face and the blush that, by now, had taken over his entire face. He'd dropped his eyes, not wanting the First Lady to see his embarrassment and the fear he knew he couldn't mask.

"Relax, Sam. By the way, in this conversation I'm Abbey, not the First Lady. I asked that question because that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, your girlfriend is also my niece."

He brought his head up so fast he got lightheaded. He was very confused now. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Did you just say...?"

"That I'm Abbey in this conversation and that your girlfriend is my niece? Yes, Sam, that's what I said. Contrary to what Toby and Leo seem to think, you have very good hearing."

"I'm sorry, Abbey, but now I'm really confused. Could you please explain this to me?"

"She hasn't told you anything about this, has she?"

"No, she hasn't. She's very sensitive and shy, so we're taking things very slow. I don't want to hurt or startle her in any way. Basically, I just follow her lead."

"She's been like that for a very long time. Ever since she got here, in fact. Her sensitivity has always been one of the best things about her. You know, she helped Margaret a lot when Leo was in the Labor Department. Mallory would, too, but after a while she started to see things the way her mother did and backed away from him. Katie never left him. He was her family and she wouldn't let him down."

"What do you mean, 'ever since she got here'? She's only been in DC for about a year. Can shyness like hers develop that quickly?"

'What happened that made her like this?', he thought. It was almost like she was trying to hide from something or someone and it didn't make sense at all.

Abbey studied his face as he spoke. He had such concern and love all over his face for her niece was breathtaking. She knew Katie would kill her for this, but he had to be told.

She reached over and touched his hand lightly. "Sam," she began softly, "I'm going to tell you some things about her that will surprise, upset and worry you. I need you to keep your reactions between us. Don't let her know that I've told you these things."

"But, Abbey, I don't keep secrets from her. I don't want us to..."

"You're going to have to. I'm telling you this to make your life easier so that you can be more of a help to her. She hasn't told you any of this because she thinks that if you knew more about her past, you'd leave. There've been many nights when she stayed with us at the farm when I heard her crying from loneliness and want. She always felt that if her looks hadn't frightened someone off, her past would do that for sure. You know that she's fragile and shy, but I don't think you realize how deep those rivers run in her."

"Then, please, tell me. I want to show her how the world sees her, how _I_ see her."


	10. What's inside?

Abbey sighed heavily. This was going to be a very long discussion. "Why don't we go up to the Residence to talk about this? You tell Ginger to clear your schedule and I'll tell Toby that you're going to be unavailable for the rest of the day."

"But, Abbey, what if the President..."

"I'll take care of Jed and Leo. I'll be back in just a bit and then we can go up to the Residence. For you, I'm still Abbey there, too." She opened the office door.

"Yes, ma'am."

Abbey and Sam walked through the bullpen on their way to the Residence. He could feel the sympathetic looks of the staffers and assistants follow him as they walked. He was actually happy to be walking with the First Lady and not be the one in trouble. He caught Donna's eye as they neared Josh's office. He smiled at her and saw her relax. 'Good,' he thought, 'now she can get everyone off my case about being in trouble with the First Lady.' There were times that he honestly loved the Sisterhood, and this was one of them.

Once they were settled in the Residence's study, she spoke first.

"Sam, how much do you know about Katie?"

He stared into his glass as he thought about it. "Well, she's told me a bit about where she grew up and her high school. She told me little things about college and moving here. She didn't talk much about her job or her social life. Beyond what I know from when we first met, that's pretty much it." He'd thrown caution to the wind by mentioning their first meeting, but it didn't matter anymore.

"What do you mean, 'when we first met'?" His last statement had thrown her. She had no idea that they'd met before this.

"Well, um, Abbey, I don't know what she's told you, but we met the weekend of her 16th birthday when she came down to visit her cousin, Mike." He stared into his drink again. The two of them wanted to keep Minneapolis as their secret. In a city where secrets were common knowledge, this one wasn't. No matter what happened, they were determined to have at least one part of their lives that they truly owned.

Sensing his discomfort about the subject, she took a deep breath and moved forward. "Sam, a lot of what I'm going to tell you is going to come as a surprise to you, but I'm giving you the abridged version. You'll have to get the details from Katie, when or if she talks about these things." She watched him nod his head slightly, and then began to tell him the story.

By the time she'd finished, Sam couldn't speak; he was so overwhelmed by all of the information. So much had happened to her that never should have. He couldn't even look at Abbey; his head was spinning so fast. The President walked into the room and Sam didn't even move. He walked over and shook the younger man's shoulder lightly.

"Now, Sam, I know you've been close with my wife today, but..."

He immediately yanked himself back to consciousness and saw the President beside him. He jumped out of his chair, unbelievably embarrassed for what he hadn't done.

"Mr. President!! I'm terribly sorry, it's just that..."

"Relax, son. Sit down. Abbey told me what you were discussing. I'd expect anyone to be blindsided by that information, especially that much at once. You're dating Katie, I understand?"

"Well, in all honesty, sir, I don't know if you'd call what she and I are doing right now could be considered 'dating'. I know how shy she is, so I just follow her lead. We're taking things very slowly."

"You're right about that, son. She was barely 15 while I was in the State House, and it was like pulling teeth to get her to come to functions and parties whenever she visited. Ellie and Zoey would beg her to come, and she still wouldn't. One year she was visiting us during Christmas, and I lost my temper for one silly reason or another, because I'd had a bad day at the office and yelled at her for not coming to the function we had that night a bit too loudly at close range. I didn't realize what I'd done until after I'd finished. She looked up at me, and I could see the tears streaming down her face and the fear in her eyes. In a very tiny voice, she said, 'I'm really sorry, Uncle Jed. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'll go if you want me to. I'd better go get dressed.' She ran out like a bat out of hell to get to her bedroom. I went upstairs to get my jacket a few minutes later and walked past her room. I'll never forget the sounds I heard in there for the rest of my life."

"Abbey and Zoey were trying to calm her, saying that they would make me understand why she didn't want to go. She was crying hysterically as she told them that she couldn't ask them to do that. She said that she'd told me that she was going to go, and she didn't want to disappoint me. She also said that she was afraid if either of them told me that she wasn't going, that I'd get even angrier at her and angry at them, too. She said that she didn't want them to get hit, too."

The President saw the shock register on Sam's face as he continued.


	11. Things hidden in the back

"When I heard this, nothing could move me from my spot outside her door. This sweet, innocent girl had been beaten for nothing more than making simple childhood mistakes. Abbey asked her to explain, and she said that she was trying so hard to be good and not take advantage, but if she screwed up, she didn't want them to take the blame for her mistakes and it was just better if she went anyway. Besides, if she was going to make a mistake, it was just better if she along took the beating and not them. Abbey questioned this, and Katie explained that was what happened when a 'grown-up', as she called them, got mad at her. She got hit. She knew how to take it, so it was just better if she got beaten instead of them, since neither of them had been through something like this before and wouldn't know how to handle it."

Sam looked at the President, struggling to keep his emotions in check, the sadness writ large across his face. In a voice barely above a whisper, he asked, "What happened after that?"

"Zoey went to our bedroom to get Abbey's bag for her. She gave her a strong sedative that had her laid out in 5 minutes. I walked into the room and tried to apologize to Abbey, but she waved it off, saying that she understood why Katie had reacted that way and she didn't blame me. She also told me that it was a good idea that I hadn't come into the room. She'd been afraid that Katie might've tried to hurt herself trying to run if I had. Abbey stayed with her that night and we were able to get her some treatment for this, but since she'd left for college, it was hard to continue reliable treatment. Abbey and I did our very best, but after she turned 21, it was difficult. She was always obedient, which we were sure had come from earlier circumstances, and did her best to continue, but there were times in her life that she just couldn't."

"She's so kind and giving, Sam, but she'll neglect herself more often than not, and very rarely are her efforts toward others ever recognized or reciprocated."

"I understand, sir. I've been trying to treat her like a princess since we met, but she keeps saying that she doesn't deserve it. I know it's going to be hard, but I want her to see herself the way that I see her. She always moves to the side whenever we're with other people, as if she's removing herself from the situation. She tells me that she does it so because she doesn't want to be a distraction or bother to me."

"Sometimes you can do little things that you don't even realize will help," Abbey said from the doorway. "She's a very tactile person. Have you ever noticed that, in certain situations, she'll clench and unclench or do something similar with her hands?"

"Unfortunately, ma'am, I haven't. What does it mean?"

"She's either getting very nervous or very scared. All that needs to be done is a light squeeze on her shoulder or hold her hand."

Abbey looked at the grandfather clock as it chimed. "It's 10:30, have either of you eaten anything? And don't even think about lying to me."

"No, dear, I haven't eaten tonight," sighed the President as he looked at his wife, then Sam as if to say, 'Don't even try to bail on me, pal.'

"Sam, what about you?"

"No, ma'am, I haven't either. I don't want to be any...," Abbey shrugged him off.

"Don't even try to give me that, Samuel Norman Seaborn, 'cause you know I won't buy it. Go into the kitchen and ask the cook to make you a sizeable sandwich and wrap it for you. You're not driving home, so I'll call up one of the cars to take you to your apartment. Also, please let them know that my husband and I will need something soon as well."

"Yes, ma'am. Sir, may I..."

"Oh, go already, would you? You of all people should know that my wife supercedes anything I have to say up here."

Sam smiled slightly, "Yes, sir".

Coming back into the room, he cleared his throat to let them know he was there. "Excuse me, ma'am, but the cook would..."

She kissed Jed on the cheek and looked at Sam, "Oh, I'll go deal with this. Remember, she's afraid of asking for anything she wants. Keep asking her what she likes and tell her how you feel whenever you talk to her," she patted his arm lightly, "Make sure you get some sleep when you get home, OK?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so very much for confiding in me."

"Sweet dreams, Sam," Abbey added on her way out the door.

The President walked toward where he was standing. "Well, son, I guess it's time. Come and sit down."

"Sam, you've always been one of the most compassionate people I've ever known and I can see that this extends to your feelings for her. However, I would like to let you know...."

Sam chuckled to himself. "All due respect, sir, but why do I feel like I'm getting the same talk you gave to Charlie when he asked your permission to date Zoey?"

The President got a slightly angry look on his face, but continued. "I would like to let you know that she is the niece of _my_ Chief of Staff, who can easily order the 82nd Airborne on your ass if you do the slightest thing to hurt her and say that it was a direct order from me without even blinking. I also want you to know that _I'll_ issue the order if he doesn't. "

Sam looked at the President in shock. "Um...y-yes, sir." Just then, one of the agents came into the study through one of the side doors. "Excuse me, Mr. President, but the car that the First Lady requested for Mr. Seaborn is here."

"Thanks, Mike. Would you please follow him to his office and then direct him to the car?"

"Of course, sir."

"Thank you for the talk, sir. Both you and the First Lady have given me a lot of information that will allow me to help Katie."

"Just remember what my wife said. You know nothing about any of this unless she brings it up."

"Yes, sir. Good night, Mr. President."

"Good night, Sam. Oh, by the way, don't come in until 10 tomorrow. You need rest and time to process all of this."

"Thank you, sir. Good night."


	12. Too much all at once

Sam walked into his apartment entirely wiped out. He only wanted to eat maybe a quarter of the sandwich the First Lady had given him and fall asleep for 9-10 hours. He noticed the blinking light on his machine and played the messages.

"Hi, Sam. It's only me." He smiled at the sound of her voice. "I just wanted to see how your day went. Call me whenever you have time. I should be up until about 11."

He stopped the machine and picked up the phone to call her back. Now was the perfect time to act on some of Abbey's advice.

The phone only rang twice before she picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Katie, it's only me." She smiled to herself, "Long day, Sam? You sound worn out."

He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair as he dropped onto the couch.

"Yeah, you could say that."

She sat up in bed. "OK, you. Start talking. What happened?"

'Pushy, as always,' he thought. "Well, I was working on the speech for the NEA dinner next month, and of course the Blue Ribbon Commission came up when I was discussing things with Toby..."

The conversation went on for nearly an hour. It hurt him not to tell her why he felt the way he did, but knew that he had no real choice in it. He heard Kate stifle a yawn on her end.

"Hey, why didn't you tell me you were tired, sweetie?"

"Sam, I'm really not..."

"Don't give me that. You need to go to sleep. I don't want my little sprite to be tired tomorrow."

"Sa-am." He laughed quietly when she said that. The lilt in her voice came out as she drew out his name. He knew what she was trying to do, and he wasn't going to let her.

"Yeah?"

"I'll be OK. You sound like you still need to talk, though."

"I'll make you a deal. You go to sleep and we'll go out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"You sure? I mean, I know that you're really busy over there." It hurt him to hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"Katie, stop it. I _want _to take you to dinner. We haven't seen each other in a while, and I'd like to remind you what I look like. Besides, I miss you."

"Oh, OK. I didn't realize. Should I dress up for this?"

"Nah, it'll just be someplace casual. Just bring an overnight bag. If we get back too late, you're crashing at my apartment. I don't want you to go back to your place that late. I'll call you from my office once I know where we're going and what time. I'll also call Security so that you can just come to my office. Just remember to bring some ID, OK?"

"Sure. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Definitely, my little sprite. You go on and get some sleep now, OK?"

"OK. Um...Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." He could hear the tremor in her voice.

"You're welcome, sweetie."

After hanging up, he fell into bed as well. Looking at the ceiling, he couldn't help but wish that she were there next to him. He wouldn't have cared if she had nothing on or was wrapped up in a snowsuit; he just wanted to hold her close, make her feel safe and wanted and tell her how he felt about her.

The information he'd received that afternoon still echoed in his head. She'd been raped, tormented for her intelligence and reticence, taken from her childhood home and all that was familiar and thrown across the ocean to a family that kept her at arm's length during her formative years. She gave anything that she could to anyone that asked and even to those that didn't, because the only thing that she knew was that if she gave, someone would care about her, even if it was just for a little while, they'd care. But after all those years of giving her kindness, support, efforts and, in some cases, her love, she didn't have much left to give, much less to care for herself, and yet she continued. He could feel the tears sting in his eyes as he started to cry for her and all of the pain she'd been through. He felt all of this as keenly as if it had happened to him, and it tore him apart inside to know that she felt like this, probably even worse. As his tears subsided, he whispered to their game picture, "Angel mine, please, let me in."


	13. The other end of the call

A/N: Thanks for all the feedback. Don't worry, all questions will be answered at one point or another. Kursk, I'm not much of a J/D shipper, but you'll get a little bit.

If anyone can put me in touch with Elli, the manager of the 'Everything Sam' C2 community, I'd appreciate it. Now, on with the show!!

* * *

Kate woke up the next morning with a slight feeling of dread that only increased as she got ready for work. She packed her bag as they'd discussed on the phone and left the apartment with that and her lunch to walk to work.

She always walked fast in her neighborhood, which, incidentally, wasn't that far from Charlie's. She'd wanted to get a place in a better neighborhood, but this was the only thing she could afford. The few people that she was friends with at work kept bothering her to have a party, but she'd always refused. She was so scared and ashamed of where she lived; she wouldn't even give her street address to someone unless they absolutely needed to know. She wouldn't risk anyone coming to visit. It was bad enough that she had to live there; she refused to even toy with the fact that anyone who came to visit her risked getting mugged or worse.

When she got to her department at Treasury, she tried to get to her desk and start work as soon as possible. She didn't want her supervisor to take more than a passing notice of her today so she could try to leave a little bit earlier than usual to meet Sam. She still couldn't believe that he'd offered to take her to dinner. This didn't happen to her, not much anyway. If she went out to dinner, which was very rare, she'd go by herself to a diner and just watch. Her order was almost always to go, since she soon found that just watching people interact just made her upset.

Most of her morning passed quietly. She just kept her head down and worked. This wonderful, if not monotonous, time lasted until a bit after lunch. That's when the one thing Kate never wanted discovered or discussed was.

"Ms. Dillon, please sit," her supervisor said as Kate entered the office.

"Now then, I've been reviewing your personnel file lately and would like to ask you some questions."

"Yes, sir."

"It says here that you were born in Ireland."

"Yes, sir, that's correct."

He moved his chair closer to his desk and leaned forward. "What does your family do there, Ms. Dillon?"

"Well, sir, I haven't spoken to my parents in a while, but my father's a sheep farmer and my mother handles the sale of the wool to local woolleries."

"What about your relatives?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't really know what they do, sir."

"I see." His tone could be described as clipped at best, angry at worst. Kate began to get worried. She sat silently, waiting for him to speak.

"Well, Ms. Dillon, I'm going to make some physical changes in your section. You are to move from your present station to the station in the far back corner once you leave this office. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, now go move to your new station."

"Yes, sir."

Kate left his office stunned. Why did he want her to change stations? He wasn't clear about his reason, if he'd mentioned one at all. She got back to her desk and moved everything as fast as she could to her new one so there wouldn't be any problems if he decided to come over to her section.

Her new desk was exactly the same as the other one, but the local geography was very different. Before, she'd had someone on all sides, save for the fact she was directly on the aisle. Here, she was all the way in the corner next to the wall and there were at least 2 empty desks between her and the nearest occupied one. Why had she been isolated like this? Had she done something wrong? Once she was settled, she stopped thinking about those things and just started working again. She tried to think about meeting Sam for dinner. At least that would help her smile a little and focus on what she was doing.

She was finally able to leave around 4:30. The White House was a small distance from her building, so it would take her a while to walk over there. She also didn't know how long the security check would take, so she thought it would probably be better for her to be early.

The guard at the gate was very kind. He could see how nervous and lost she was, so he gave her the visitor's tag and even helped her with very careful directions to Sam's office. Kate followed his directions and soon found herself walking into the bullpen. What she didn't know was that she walking into a firestorm.


	14. Welcome to the Communications Department

The entire staff was there. She couldn't see an empty desk anywhere she looked. A federal building in another state had just collapsed not 15 minutes ago and the entire place was in overdrive. She heard a woman yell, causing her to jump, "Sam! I need that statement now! My briefing is in 20 minutes!"

"Relax, CJ! 5 minutes, that's all I ask for, 5 minutes!"

"I'm watching the clock here, Spanky. You better move it!!"

Kate tentatively walked into the pen, taking her time so she wouldn't distract him from his work. Suddenly, she felt herself pushed into a wall.

"Good G-d! What the hell do you want?"

Kate was too startled to answer the bald gentleman that had run into her.

"Well?!"

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm just here to see..."

He exploded at her, which, to her, felt like a nuclear bomb.

"Well, if you're not supposed to be here, leave!! We actually do serious work here and we don't have time for someone like you! Bonnie! Ginger!"

Ginger responded first, "Yeah, Toby?"

"Call security and get whoever this," he waved his hand at her with a look of disgust on his face, "is out of here."

She spoke, raising her voice just slightly, but the tearful tremor was obvious, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

"I'm really very sorry, s-sir. There's no need to call security. I-I'll find my own way out."

"Find it damned quick, then."

During the exchange, Sam yelled to Ginger what printer CJ's statement was coming out on and started to make his way to the door. He heard the last pieces of the exchange, which made him freeze just inside his doorway. He heard Kate's voice, still so quiet even after she'd raised it and the tremor in it was unmistakable, especially when he heard the very end of the conversation.

_"I'm really very sorry..."_

"_She looked up at me, and I could see the tears streaming down her face and the fear in her eyes. In a very tiny voice, she said, 'I'm really sorry, Uncle Jed. I didn't mean to make you mad. I'll go if you want me to. I'd better go get dressed.' She ran out like a bat out of hell to get to her bedroom."_

He felt the slicing pain in his heart and instantly knew what happened. Toby had just yelled at Kate, frightening the hell out of her, and she'd run out of there as fast as she could.

Grabbing his jacket and overcoat, he tore out of his office, nearly slamming into Toby.

"Sam, watch it!! Where the hell are you going?"

He stopped in his tracks and looked at his boss with amazement and anger. "I'm going to go check on someone that you just scared the hell out of." His tone was deadly serious, nearly bordering on anger.

"Why are you so worried about her? It's no big deal. She's probably just a friend of one of the interns. We've got to deal with _this_, Sam." He met Toby's angry gaze with his own.

"Fuck off, Toby. It _is_ a big deal. I'll be back later, _if_ I come back at all." The ice in his tone left no room for argument. Sam turned and ran down the hall.

The bullpen went quiet at Sam's last words. He never spoke like that, even if he was absolutely livid at someone. Toby saw the suspension of activity and yelled, "Let's go, people!"


	15. This time, it's different

Sam went towards the Northwest entrance and saw Mike at the door. "Excuse me, Mike, have you seen..."

"Young woman about 5'5" with a small bag? She just ran through the doors not 2 minutes ago, Mr. Seaborn"

His face relaxed and he smiled. "Thanks, Mike. I really appreciate it."

Mike nodded as he ran out the door.

He saw her at the far end of the path, nearly to the street. He took off, calling her as she ran. He had no idea that she wasn't hearing him.

The only thing she heard was the sharp click of dress shoes on the walk as someone ran after her. Kate just kept running. Her only focus was escape. 'I have to get away. He's going to come after me and I'll get beaten worse than when I was 13. I don't want to be hit again. I only wanted to see Sam for dinner, that's all I wanted. One night where I wouldn't be alone. I have to get away from here.' The exhaustion and the blinding tears closing off her vision forced her to slow as she got closer to the fence.

He watched her pace slow and did the same. The last thing he wanted was to add to her fright. He watched as she dropped her bag and leaned against the fence facing the street. He was no more than 8 feet from her when he began to hear it, sounds he'd heard so long ago and had never wanted to hear coming from her again. He stepped onto the lawn and began to slowly and quietly close the distance between them. He could only hope that she wouldn't run away from him as well. The sound only got worse the closer he got. Great, heavy, soul-shattering sobs.

She could only pray that whoever was following her would be kind and not beat her so badly that people would notice. She was terrified of what would happen if it was noticeable. This was a nightmare, a horrific tape loop of her life that no one would turn off. It was just too much for her; her feelings were far too strong to hold in and her body too weak to fight back any longer.

Her body shook violently as she cried out of fear and want. All these years, she wished so hard for someone to just tell her that it would be OK, that she'd be protected, that nothing would hurt her. But the part of her mind that was numbingly realistic that told her none of those things would ever happen.

She would go home alone, tend to whatever cuts, bruises and other injuries she'd receive and cry herself to sleep, like so many times before. She'd lock all this away, both the nightmares and her feelings for Sam, and they'd never be seen in daylight again. She would continue to live the way she always had; broken-hearted, broken-spirited, shy and alone.

She felt a light touch on her shoulder, and he winced as she jerked away violently. "Please d-don't hit me, please. I'm so very s-sorry. J-Just tell me what to do and I'll f-fix it, I promise, I-I'll fix it. J-Just please don't h-hit me," she whimpered. She sounded like a terrified little girl, and it broke his heart to hear her like this.

"Little sprite, it's just me. It's Sam. I won't hit you. I just want you to feel safe. I won't hurt you. I could never hurt you." He stifled his reaction as she turned to face him.

Her face was bright red under the streetlights and he could see the silver sheen of the tears on her face that showed no sign of stopping. He felt sadness hit him in the stomach when he saw her eyes. They were nearly brown and the deep fear and sorrow that he saw there frightened him. "Come here," he whispered as he held his arms out to her.

Kate whimpered as she stepped toward him. Sam brought her close in a comforting embrace. He stroked her hair as he spoke. "Angel mine, don't cry. I'm here now. Shhh. Hush, my precious. I won't let anything hurt you." He held her close and continued to whisper endearments and reassurances as she cried like a broken child. Now he understood what Abbey had meant when she told him that he didn't realize how deep her fragility and shyness ran and knew that she was right.

He felt her whisper something against his chest. He pulled back and quietly asked, "I didn't hear you, Katie. What did you say?"

She was scared to repeat it. She didn't want him getting upset with her as well.

Dropping her head slightly she spoke, "I said I'm sorry that I ruined dinner. I'll just take my things and go back to my apartment."

He knew she'd do this; blame herself for the fact that they couldn't go to dinner. He wiped the tears off her cheeks as he gave her a gentle smile. "You didn't ruin dinner. The building collapse ruined dinner. Actually, I was afraid to tell you."

She giggled quietly and he reveled in the sound. "Why?"

"I didn't want to disappoint you. I knew that you were looking forward to this, and I was worried that you'd be upset with me."

"Don't worry about it, Sam. It's not important."

In a slightly raised tone, he countered her comment. "It _is_ important, Kate. It's important to _me_." He continued on in a quieter tone. "You've told me about the things that happened in your life. How you were denied things and all of the broken promises you dealt with. I don't want to be like that. You're so kind and giving, but it's high time that things be given to _you_. That promises made _to you_ are kept. Why don't we do this? We'll go to my place since it's closer, order in and you'll crash in the guest room tonight, OK?"

She looked up at him and gave a small smile. "OK."

"Come with me. We'll get my car and we'll be home in a minute."

With tears still in her eyes, she gave him a grateful look and picked up her bag. He kissed her forehead and took her hand as they walked towards the lots.

What they didn't realize was that someone had taken photos and would torpedo this the same way one of their colleagues torpedoed his friendship with Laurie.


	16. The White House advice line

Sam ordered pizza for them once they got back to his place. As Kate was upstairs changing out of her work clothes, he made a phone call from his office.

"White House Operator. How may I direct your call?"

"Hi, Chris. It's Sam Seaborn. Would you please connect me with the First Lady?"

"Sure, just a sec."

"Thanks"

Jed and Abbey were in the Residence watching a movie when the phone rang.

"Good evening, Mr. President. I have Sam Seaborn on the line for the First Lady."

"Go ahead and put him through." Once the call switched over, "Sam, is there a particular reason that you're calling my wife at this time of night?"

"Mr. President! I'm very sorry for disturbing you, but I need to speak to the First Lady, if that's possible, please."

"It might be, provided you tell me what this is about."

"It's Kate, sir."

He waved to Abbey to come over to the phone. "It's Sam. About Katie."

"Sam? Is everything all right?"

"I'm not sure, ma'am. We were..."

"Sam, conversations like this, I'm Abbey."

"OK. Well, she was meeting me at the office because we had dinner plans and she wound up walking into the middle of the thing we had tonight. It seems that she and Toby collided with each other by accident and he screamed at her like no tomorrow. I finally caught up with her near the fence by the Northwest entrance and she was crying like I've never seen anyone cry before. I'm really worried."

"Where are you right now?"

"At my place. She's upstairs in the guest room. After everything that happened, I thought it might be a good idea if she came here with me and we ordered in for dinner."

"Good call, Sam. Don't force her to talk until she's ready. Stay nearby and remember that she's very tactile. Right now, she's probably operating with the emotional logic of a 10 year old, possibly lower if this rattled her as bad as you say. Just keep things quiet there and that will help her recover."

"Thank you, Abbey. I'm sorry I called this late."

"Don't worry about it. I can tell how much she means to you. Just take care of her."

"I will, Abbey, I will."

After they'd hung up, she snuggled up to Jed on the couch.

"She OK?"

"Yeah. Toby collided with her earlier and yelled, and you know how loud he can get. Apparently, it really frightened her and she bolted. Sam caught up with her at the fence at the Northwest entrance. From what he told me, it sounded like she was crying even harder than she did when she was with us at the State House."

"Where is she now?"

"They're at Sam's. They'd planned on going out, but after what happened he thought it'd be better if they ordered in, since he felt that she needed quiet."

"He's a good man, Abbey. Even though he doesn't think he knows what he's doing, it sounds like he did everything you'd recommend."

"You're right, Jed. Who knows? You may have to give away another girl from this family," Abbey said teasingly.

"She's _Leo's_ niece and I think he'd agree about my building the dungeon," he grumbled, shooting Abbey an evil look.


	17. It’s not the way you remember it

Sam sighed as he hung up the phone. He couldn't get the sound of her voice, her tears out of his head. He only wanted her to be happy.

He walked upstairs and knocked on the guest room door. "It's open," she said quietly, with a small catch in her voice.

The room was dark save for the light coming in through the window. She stood facing the window, and he made a point of making a little noise as he walked toward her.

"Hey you," he said softly as he put his hands on her shoulders, "feeling any better?"

"A little," she sighed. He could hear the sadness and the resignation in her voice. "Sam, why does it have to hurt like this? I always try to be good, but it seems like it never really means very much. I just want a little happiness. Just once in my life, I want to feel what it's like." He heard her voice catch as she shrugged and said, "I guess I'm just not supposed to be happy."

He exhaled heavily when he heard that. He began to run his hands up and down her arms. "I refuse to believe that, Kate. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

"I never thought about that."

"What do you mean, you 'never thought about that'?"

"I was too busy trying to stay out of everyone's way and not draw attention to myself."

She had turned to face him by now, and he studied her face. The depth of the sorrow in her eyes was chilling. It was as if she had given up any hope of being happy and wouldn't allow herself wishes or dreams.

"Why don't we go downstairs and eat? The pizza's probably cold by now, but we can warm it up in the oven. If you want to, we could talk more down there." She nodded and gave a little smile. He smiled back and put his arm around her waist as they walked downstairs. The best part of all was that she hadn't flinched when he did.

After they'd eaten, they went back to the living room to relax. He'd put some quiet CD's into the changer for background noise. He sat on the couch and tried to work on the speech while she paced the room. She looked distracted, restless. Almost like she was looking for something or someone to help her feel useful, needed, because she sure as hell didn't feel that way right now. As she continued to pace, he saw her hands begin to twitch and flex in a flat grasping motion and immediately recognized it. This was what Abbey had been talking about.

He walked to her and gently took her hands in his. "It's OK," he whispered as he brought her hands up and kissed them. He touched her hair lightly. "You look tired. Why don't you go to bed and get some rest?"

She didn't know what to make of his kindness towards her. She swallowed before she spoke. "I-I'm afraid to."

"Why? Is there anything I can do to make it easier? Would you like me to stay with you until you're asleep?" Looking into his eyes, she knew he was sincere, but she didn't know what to think.

"Ac-actually, I wanted you to hold me, Sam." She looked down as she spoke. She felt horrible as soon as she asked, stepping back slightly almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She knew deep inside that he'd say no; she'd been told 'no' so many times for so many things. She prayed that he wouldn't ask her for reasons.

"If you don't mind my asking," he said quietly, while her heart dropped when she heard that phrase, "why?"

She took a deep breath before she answered. Looking him straight in the eye, she said, "So I don't have the nightmares I do at times like this. So that when I wake up in the morning, I'm not alone and don't have the deep ache that always shows up. So that while I'm falling asleep, I don't feel that my emotions are inconsequential and my tears meaningless."

He pulled her close and rested his head on hers to keep her from seeing the tears in his eyes. He had seen so many things in her eyes while she spoke. He could see the terrified, neglected little girl needing love and attention but too afraid to ask for even for the least little bit of it, and the beautiful woman he'd fallen in love with 10 years ago. The one who was so smart she gave people whiplash but so unbelievably considerate that she put so many others before herself, without so much as a thought about her own needs. And yet, the child and the woman came together in their fear of doing the least thing wrong, either actual or perceived. Both feared retribution, either physical or emotional, to the point that it nearly paralyzed the person they made up.

The worst part was seeing her heart again. The beautiful blown glass treasure that he saw so long ago was nearly obliterated. Very little of it hadn't been damaged, and now it was at the point where there was almost nothing left. It was there he saw her sadness. Her heart was barely there now and the space that it had once occupied was now filled with the shards of her fragile emotions and the deep blackness of her sorrow.


	18. Some things just need to be said

"Hey," he whispered, "you OK with going upstairs and getting settled in my room while I lock up down here? I won't be long." She nodded mutely and turned toward the stairs.

"Don't be scared, Katie. I'll hold you and chase away the nightmares. You won't be alone tonight. I promise." He saw a small smile flicker across her face when she turned to look at him as she started up the stairs. He smiled back and began to clear up the room. He made sure that he engaged every lock on each of the doors and set the alarm. He quickly shut off all the lights and went upstairs for bed.

As he walked into the room, he could see her on the far side of the bed on her side facing the room. He smiled as he went into the bathroom to change and clean up. As he came out a few minutes later, he could hear the quiet rumble of distant thunder outside. He didn't waste any time getting into bed and close to a sleeping Kate. There was no telling if she was afraid of thunderstorms, and he wasn't about to take chances. He propped himself up and watched her sleep.

She looked ethereal in the pale light coming through the windows. Her skin was luminescent, making her appear more delicate than she actually was. Someone finding her alone here could easily mistake her for a wood sprite or a faerie in this light. He traced her hairline and the edge of her ear, marveling at the sight of her next to him.

He lay down next to her and began to run his fingers gently along the inside of her wrist and arm. Her skin was soft to his touch; like touching pure silk.

"Oh, Katie," he whispered, not knowing if she heard him, "you're so very beautiful, so intoxicating. I don't know how I'll be able to keep my distance from you now. Please, let me in. Tell me why you're hurting like this. Let me give you some kind of happiness, some joy. I miss your smile, your laugh, the way you do your little bunny nose whenever you have the attention of a small child, the light in your eyes. All I want to do is to make you feel safe and loved wherever you go." Wrapping himself around her like a blanket, he continued, "See, I told you that I'd hold you while you slept. I'll protect you from your nightmares. All I want is for you is to be happy."

He laid his hand on her cheek as he looked at her with tears in his eyes. "I love you, Katie. I've loved you for years. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. Fully, completely, no limits or restrictions. From your past to your future and everything in between." He rested his head on top of hers and put his free arm around her. He snuggled close to her and settled into sleep.

Kate's sleepy words didn't even break the silence that blanketed the room between the soft sounds of distant thunder.

"I love you, Sam."


	19. Finding the way back to before

The white flash of lightning and the accompanying blast of thunder jolted Kate from sleep. In those first moments, her memories of the day flew to the forefront and, thinking she was alone in her apartment, her tears were very near the surface as she struggled to sit up. Once consciousness cleared out the rest of her brain and she recognized her surroundings, her relaxation was nearly instantaneous. She felt Sam pull her closer and tighten his hold. It looked to her like he was still asleep, but she wasn't entirely sure. She leaned in close to his face and whispered something to him, then settled back with a little smirk on her face and waited for his reaction. About 3 seconds after she told him, his eyes flew open and looked at her.

"You're _what_?"

She laughed softly, and he looked at her entirely confused, but enjoying the sound of her laugh. He had no idea what was going on.

"I only said that to see if you were up, you know. Don't worry, it's not real."

She looked up at him with a completely innocent look on her face. He couldn't help but smile back.

"Don't do that to me, please. It's too damn early in the morning for that."

"Sorry."

He kissed her forehead lightly. "Did the storm wake you, too?"

"Yeah, but I love thunderstorms and stuff like that. I want to run outside and play in them. Sometimes, if there's one going on when I go to bed, it actually helps me sleep."

"Oh, good."

"What's that supposed to mean, you?", she said as she gave him a light swat.

"Nothing, really. When we went to bed, I could hear the thunder and worried that the storm would startle you. You feeling better now?"

She sighed quietly and closed her eyes. "A little. It's going to take a few days."

"Want to talk about it?"

"You sure? I don't want..."

"Katie, stop. We're both up, it's 3AM and I don't think either of us is going back to sleep anytime soon. If you're willing to talk about it, I'm willing to listen."

She closed her eyes for a moment. 'I know that I can trust him,' she thought, 'and he may be able to help me figure this out.'

"Toby was the last straw for me today. Work was boring and miserable; I was worried about finding your office. Around lunch, my supervisor called me into his office and asked me to confirm where I was born and what my parents do. He even asked me what other members of my family did. Then, he tells me to move my workstation from on the aisle where I'm near a few other people to the far back corner of the section. Now, there are at least 2 empty desks between me and the nearest person and it's unbelievably obvious when I try to leave my desk. I don't know why he asked me all those questions nor why he had me move."

"When I got to the Wing, I just wanted to be able to sit and talk about this with you for a few minutes before we went out for dinner, just so I could get this out and we could have a good time. It was still very close to the surface when I got to the bullpen and Toby ran into me. He started to yell at me and I just went on auto-pilot." He began to touch her hair very lightly, like a soft breeze, as she spoke.

Her voice caught as she continued, "All I could think of was not making him more upset so things wouldn't get any worse. I wanted to find you, but I was afraid you'd react the same way. By the time he'd finished, the only thing I could think of was getting away from there. I just wanted to run, Sam. I wanted the pain, the fear, the sickness to go away. I just—I just wanted everything to stop."

She sighed as she rested her forehead against his chest. She was exhausted just from talking about it, and could easily fall asleep in that moment.

He stared into the blackness of the room and thought about what she'd told him. He was surprised that she'd wanted to discuss this before they went out, but he had a feeling that she'd been more concerned about him than with herself. She knew that he'd be able to tell if something was wrong and would worry about it until she talked about what was bothering her. The whole incident just smacked of bad timing and high emotions.

He pulled her close and began to play with her hair as he rocked her gently. He could feel her snuggle closer and the soft touch of her lips on his chest through his shirt when she kissed him. Surprised, he pulled back to look at her, smiling gently as he did so.

"What was that for, precious?" His voice was barely audible.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For caring about me, about my feelings."

"I've always cared, more than you could ever know." He traced the outline of her eyes and trailed his finger down her nose. "All the time we've been apart, I thought about you nearly every day. I missed you so very much."

"I missed you, too." She slipped her hand up to rest on his face.

The touch of her hand was too much. He looked into her eyes and, in a flash of lightning that lit the room, found the unspoken consent he hoped for.

The first small kiss was soft and tentative for both of them, but after that, it was like they'd never left that snowy balcony all those years ago.

Her heart flew into her throat as they kissed. The dazzlingly electric sensation she'd prayed for so many times was there in abundance. It was so soft and loving, she felt as if she were dreaming. He'd run his tongue along her upper lip and behind it to tell her what he felt, nip at her lower lip to tease her. She moaned softly as she lightly traced the edge of his ear with her finger. The kiss deepened into something so passionate, so sensual, it was as if he was laying claim to her as his lover with this single kiss.

Sam caressed her cheek as he kissed her, slow and tender, lovingly and passionately. She tasted so sweet, like warm crème brûlée, and was so responsive. He was amazed by the depth of emotion that came through as she kissed him back. He could feel her love, her tenderness in every touch, every breath. He forced himself not to jump when she traced his ear; her caress was a reassurance and an endearment in the same moment. The way that she ran the tip of her tongue along the edge of his made him crazy. With that single action, she spoiled him for any other woman in the future.

They ended it with tiny, gentle kisses, like a carousel slowing to a stop. Dark green looked into deep royal and back, and what passed between the two needed no words. Each wrapped themselves around the other and drifted to sleep as the storm faded outside, secure in the knowledge of how they felt about each other.

And as the stars came out from behind the clouds while they slept, small pieces of broken glass slowly began to fuse themselves together in a long-forgotten corner.


	20. Welcome back to reality

Saturday dawned quiet and still. Bands of sunlight stretched the width of the room across the bed, the two figures in it wrapped around each other, fast asleep. The tempered, shrill ring of a cellphone shattered the silence, demanding attention. Regretfully, Sam gently disentangled himself from Kate's embrace and grabbed the phone from his suit before it could yell again. He snapped the phone open, casting a glance towards the bed to make sure that she hadn't woken up.

"Seaborn"

"Where the hell are you?"

"Good morning to you, too, Leo. I'm at my townhouse. Is there something I can do for you?"

"I highly suggest you get your ass down here, Spanky. You've done it again."

"CJ? What're you doing there?"

"Never mind that, Sam. Just get yourself down here now. Is that girl with you?"

He winced at the inflection Leo used and covered his eyes as he sat on the edge of the bed. They knew. He didn't know how, but they knew.

"Yes, Leo. She's here. Why?"

"Bring her with you. The two of you can explain this to the rest of Senior Staff and the President together."

He ran a hand through his hair as he looked out the window. "We'll be there in an hour. Although, Leo, I might suggest that you talk to the President and the First Lady about this."

Leo's tone on the other end was sharp. "Excuse me, Sam? You're suggesting I talk to the President and First Lady on this? What would they know about another one of your indiscretions? I swear, if you even think that..."

Sam cut him off. "Indiscretion?! This isn't an indiscretion. I talked to both of them last night after we got here. We'll be there in about an hour."

He snapped the phone shut and tossed it on the nightstand. He sat on the bed next to a still sleeping Kate. She looked so content lying there, so relaxed. Her face was still swollen from her tears; their paths visible on her cheeks. He hated the thought of having to wake her for such a petty issue. She deserved the chance to sleep, to heal.

As he went to wake her, she moved and her eyes began to flutter open. Her voice was barely a whisper. "Sam?"

"I'm right here, china doll. Did you sleep well?"

She made an odd face as she stretched and sat up. "Yeah. Had an embarrassing dream, though."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"It's really embarrassing." Her face began to show the beginnings of a blush.

"Try me."

"Well...," she was almost afraid to say anything. Remembering what they'd talked about last night, she just decided to come out and say it.

"You kissed me."

He took her hand in his and looked at her with a kind expression. Touching the side of her face lightly, he said, "You weren't dreaming."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, china doll. You weren't dreaming. I did kiss you last night."

"During the storm?"

"Yeah."

"Oh...wow." Now she was confused. Why had he kissed her? The time in Minneapolis was one thing, but now...

"Why me?"

He chuckled softly. Why her? She would ask that question. He took her face in his hands as he answered.

"Why you? Because you're sweet and gentle. Even after everything you've gone through, your faith and love still shine through as bright as when we met. I'm sorry if I was too forward, but I couldn't hold back any longer. I needed to kiss you, to remember the way you tasted, the way it felt we touched. I also wanted to give you something, something you didn't have to ask for or go without because you were afraid. I just...wanted to show you that you're beautiful."

He leaned in slowly and just barely brushed her lips with his. "Please, Katie, let me in. You don't have to fight the world alone. There's no reason for you to hide. Not anymore." His plea continued as he looked into her eyes.

She looked away. "I'm afraid to."

"Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you. There's so much about me and my past that you don't know, and I don't know if these are things you'd want to."

"I don't care."

"But..."

He touched her lips gently to silence her.

"I don't care, Kate. You forget, I can see right through you. I don't care what happened in your past, I never have."

"Sam..."

He held up his hand to stop her again. "Listen, Leo wants both of us over there in an hour. Let's go take care of that, and then we can come back and talk more. I don't want either of us to say anything that we'd regret."

She nodded in agreement and hopped out of bed. "Well, we don't want to disappoint him, do we?" She winked at him and left to get changed. Sam smiled to himself and shook his head. No matter what happened between them, it was definitely going to be interesting.


	21. Forced into the spotlight

The closer they got to the White House, he could feel her getting worried & nervous. Once they were in the lot, he turned to her and took her hands in his. "Don't be scared, precious. They're going to direct everything at me. This isn't about you; it's about controlling the image of the White House. I'll be right next to you and I'll do my best to protect you, but it might be a little hard for me if the President is there." She nodded slowly and he kissed her softly with the same intense feeling as the night before. "Come on, let's get this over with."

There were a moderate number of staffers in that day, all of whom gave the pair a variety of looks ranging from abject shock to withering distain as they walked, hand in hand, towards Leo's office. Margaret gasped as she looked up from her computer.

"Katie, is that you?"

"Yeah Meggie, it's me."

Margaret came around the desk and hugged her tight. "I've really missed you. You have no idea how difficult he's become over the last few years." Noticing Sam, she said, "Oh, sorry, Sam. It's just that we haven't seen each other in years."

He just waved her off. "It's OK, Margaret, really. Don't worry about it. Besides, you and I see each other at least once a day, right?"

"At least," she said with a laugh. Suddenly, they heard Leo's muffled "Margaret!" come through the door.

"They're all in the Oval, Sam. Katie, you staying with me so I can catch you up on everything?"

"Sorry, Megs, but no. I've been summoned to this meeting, too. I'll see you later."

As they walked into the outer office, they could hear the chatter of the other staffers, the President and Leo. Walking up to the partially closed door, he squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead. "It's going to be fine," he said quietly, "they only want me for this." Sighing heavily, he raised his hand to knock. "Let's go."

The President called for them to come in. As soon as Sam pushed open the door, all conversation ceased.

"Good morning, Mr. President," they said together.

"Morning, Sam. Katie, sweetheart, where have you been? Abbey and I have missed you around here."

She walked over and hugged him, "I'm fine. Is it safe for me to call you Uncle Jed here?"

"Sure, sweetie. I heard about what happened last night. I'm sorry that you and Sam had to be called in this morning. Are you feeling better?"

"Much better, thanks."

Leo cleared his throat, "Excuse me, Mr. President..."

"Leo, aren't you even going to say hello to your own niece?"

"Hey there, Katie."

"Uncle Leo," her voice was like ice and she only gave a quick nod in his direction.

"Why don't we get this started?" The President jumped in, recognizing where a conversation between her and Leo would go if it got started. "CJ, what've you got?"

"Thank you, sir. Here are copies of the article that was published in the _London Daily Mirror_. It quotes 2 unnamed sources that the other person in the photo is someone with whom Sam's been having an ongoing relationship with, and that the relationship started while she was a minor." Sam and Kate looked at each other with the shock obvious on both their faces. Someone found out about Minneapolis. Kate spoke first.

"CJ, I'm the one in the picture with Sam, so you may as well use my name while we're discussing this."

"I need to know the details of your relationship, Katie, so that I can clear up these accusations before they make their way into the US press, and the sooner I can get them, the better."

"Well, A: Don't call me Katie, and B: you're not getting them right now."

"Excuse me?" Toby said in an irritated voice.

She turned and looked Toby square in the face with her eyes narrowed.

"You heard me. You're not getting them now. The press has no need to know what either of us does in our off-time. It's ridiculous that they think they can have at this."

Sam put his hand on her arm. "Kate, we need to do this. I don't like it either, but it's what has to be done."

She turned to face him. "What about..."

"The press doesn't believe that Senior Staffers have the right to privacy and that belief can and often does extend to those in their immediate personal lives. I've told you what happened to me."

"Can we discuss this before we give them anything?" She cast a hopeful look at the President, who nodded slightly. Sam was the only one to notice the slight catch in her voice.

CJ and Toby noticed the President's reaction. "Fine," Toby huffed. "The two of you talk it over and get me a statement when you've decided what to say. CJ'll need it by the end of today."

They nodded, and the President spoke up. "Wonderful. What's next?"

The meeting moved forward from there. Once it was over, Leo said the phrase Sam had been dreading all morning. "Sam, my office."

Once the doors to Leo's office were closed, he turned on him.

"What the hell are you thinking? What happened between you and Mallory was bad enough, but now you're trying to date my niece, who is _much_ younger than you, by the way. What are you trying to do, kill me?"

"Leo, we're both adults. I didn't even know she was your niece until she mentioned it. We met outside the Wing and found that we have a lot in common. She's a wonderful woman, Leo, but we've been dating for a few months now and plan to continue. I'm sorry if this bothers you, but that's what we're going to do." Sam tried to conceal his anger while he spoke, but the ice in his voice betrayed him.

The door between Leo's office and the Oval opened suddenly, and both men looked toward it.

"Leo, lay off the poor guy, would you? You're just upset that you don't get to have a little fun with this one the way you did when it was Sam and Mal."

"Be that as it may, sir, Katie was entrusted to my care by my sister in Ireland. I don't take things like that lightly."

Sam couldn't help but think, 'Yeah, she was shipped over because her parents were ashamed of something that happened to her that wasn't her fault. When she got here, your wife and daughter did little to help her acclimate, and you weren't much better.'

"Leo, that was 14 years ago. She's a grown woman now. I think your sister would forgive you if you loosened up on her a little."

"All due respect, sir, you've never met _this_ sister."

The President looked around the room and noticed Sam still standing quietly in front of Leo's desk. "Go ahead back to your office, Sam. Find Katie and discuss the statement you'll give to CJ. Once you've handed it to her, I don't want you anywhere near the building until Monday."

He smiled. "Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. President, Leo." He left the room as fast as he could and made his way to his office.


	22. This love is real

Josh stopped her as she walked by his office. She didn't even recognize him after all these years, but her reaction to seeing him again wasn't what he'd expected.

"Katie!! Where have you been? What've you been doing the last few years?"

She matched Josh's excited face with her neutral one.

"Hello, Josh."

"You OK? I thought you'd be happy to see all of us, not just the President."

She looked at him disparagingly before answering his question in a low, menacing voice.

"Am I OK, Josh? Is that what you want to know? I'm great. I live in a neighborhood so bad that I'm afraid to have what few friends I have come to my apartment. I work for a highly critical boss at Treasury that, lately, has become very curious about my family in Ireland for some reason. And to top it all off, I'm being forced to tell the world about the most wonderful thing that's ever existed in my life and open it up to scrutiny that it shouldn't be subject to. I'm absolutely wonderful, thanks for asking."

She turned on her heel and walked out, leaving a stunned Josh in her wake.

He sat down and started to look over some papers on the new Resolution that was due to come to the House in a few weeks.

"Jesus, Katie, no wonder Mal always said you were a self-centered little bitch. Nice to know some things haven't changed."

Walking through the bullpen, Sam noticed the blinds and the door to his office were both closed.

"Ginger, is there something in my office that I should know about?"

"This woman just went in there not 5 minutes ago and closed your blinds and the door. I don't even think she turned on the lights."

He knew who it was. Nodding to Ginger, he walked into his office and closed the door quietly behind him. Kate had her back to the door as she looked out the window across the lawn. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Dropping a light kiss on one ear, he whispered, "Hey, how's my little china doll?"

"Scared. What's going to happen once CJ reads the statement at the briefing? Is there going to be press at my apartment, at yours? Will they stake out my job? Am I going to get fired? I don't know what's going to happen and I'm so scared, Sam." He cringed at the amount of fear in her voice and the way the pitch had gone higher and higher as she continued. He moved so that he was in front of her and pulled her close.

"Honestly, love, I don't know. I wish I did, if for nothing else than to make you feel better about all of this. I can understand if you want to stop this right now, but I don't want us to end this before it's even had a real chance." He slowly ran his fingers through her hair as he tried to reassure her. "I hate the fact that this has to be done, too, Katie. I've never liked any of this."

He pulled back slightly and noticed the sad, haunted look in her eyes. He ran the back of his hand down one side of her face and saw her relax slightly. He left light kisses on her forehead, her eyes and the tip of her nose. He looked in her eyes when he had finished and saw that some of the sadness was gone. He knew what he had to do.

"Katie," he said softly as he leaned in close to her, "there's only one thing I can think of that might help here. I refuse to allow this thing to pull us apart, especially since we just found each other again. I'll protect you as best I can. But," he said as he noticed that their faces were only a few millimeters apart, "most importantly, I want you to know that I love you."

He kissed her; slowly, tenderly, letting his emotions call the shots this time. He poured everything out to her in this kiss. His ever-growing love for her, the desire he felt when they were together, the warmth he felt every time she touched him. He could feel her quietly responding to him with her own emotions, soft whispers to his regular volume. Her need to feel his touch and to stay in his embrace, the comfort that she drew from him when they were together and the way that just the sound of his voice could calm her. He could feel her need to be with him match with his to be with her.

Suddenly, the sound of a ball bouncing against glass forced them to break the kiss.

Sam groaned audibly as he pulled her to his chest and stroked her hair. He could kiss her forever and never grow tired of it. He kissed the top of her head and pulled back. He saw that more of the sadness had left her eyes, replaced by small sparks of hope. He silently cursed Toby for his horrible timing and wondered if that was one of the reasons that he and Andi weren't married any longer.

"Let me go deal with Toby. I'll be back in a bit." He turned to leave but was stopped by the fact that she still held one of his hands in a tight grip. He looked at her questioningly.

"Sam," she said, "I love you, too." She had a soft smile on her face as she said it and gave his hand a small squeeze before releasing him. He gave her a huge smile in return.

"Katie, you just made me the happiest man in the world."

Oh, yeah. There was no way in hell he would allow this to be pulled apart. He'd resign first.


	23. Defending your life

"You bounced me, Toby?", Sam said in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Where's the statement? CJ needs it for the briefing on Monday, and I'd like to be able to review it first."

"We're working on it right now, Toby. You'll get it in plenty of time to review it."

"Make sure that I do, Sam," he said as he turned back to his computer.

Sam left the office and went to see CJ.

"Hi there," he said as he leaned on the doorframe.

"Spanky, don't tell me that you've got the draft in your back pocket there."

"Sorry, Ceej, you don't get that lucky," Sam said as he walked into her office and closed the door behind him.

"Oh, G-d. What happened now?"

"Nothing happened! At least, not within the last hour and a half."

"Talk, Spanky, or else you will be in such physical pain that you won't be able to inch your way back to your office."

"Well, remember you said in the meeting that the _Mirror_ had sources that said that our relationship began while she was a minor?"

CJ began to get very nervous. "Yeah?"

"That's not entirely untrue."

"Are you kidding me? _ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!_ What the hell were you thinking, Sam?! Starting a relationship with her while she was a minor? Are you entirely sure that you didn't suffer a severe head injury before this happened?"

Her last comment really pissed him off.

"CJ! Stop it!! It wasn't some weird 'Lolita' thing, OK? It happened that one time and that was it. Can you calm down enough so I can tell you the whole thing?"

"Yes, Sam. I'll be calm while you tell me about it, but I make no promises about what I might do when you've finished."

"That's fine. Well, she'd come down to visit her cousin, who was also my best friend and roommate while we were at Duke. She has such a thing for the Men's Basketball team that Mike got tickets to Minneapolis for the Men's Final that year..."

She listened intently as he told her the story of how they first met, the game, and the kiss on the hotel balcony. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

"She left the next morning to go back to Massachusetts. She never tried to contact me and, since I didn't know where to find her, I didn't either. I hadn't seen her until she fell in the snow in front of my place during the blizzard. That's when we decided to see where things went."

"How old is she now?"

"She'll be 26 at the beginning of April."

"You're right, Sam. This should be a non-story, but the way things have been going around here, everything's a story."

He sighed as he got up. "I know that, CJ, but you're not the one who had to see the fear in her eyes. We didn't want to tell anyone what was going on. The only reason you found out was because of what happened yesterday. Otherwise, you still wouldn't know."

"Just be careful, that's all I ask."

He looked back at her as he reached for the knob. "That's all we've been, CJ. That's all we've ever been."

CJ put her feet up on her desk and thought about what Sam had told her. The way they met seemed like a fairy tale to her. She remembered Kate's tone of voice from Staff when she'd told them that they weren't going to get anything from her. She didn't even back down when Toby challenged her on it. Suddenly, she understood what Sam had meant by seeing her fear. The look on her face when she'd walked into the Oval and when Sam said that a statement was the best thing for them to do was saddening. She looked like a scared rabbit. She hung onto him during the whole meeting, save when she went to hug the President. CJ had a feeling that if Sam hadn't held onto her, Kate would've run out of the room, let alone walk in at all.

She also had a bad feeling that this was only the beginning of the questions she was going to get about her.


	24. Private calm

Sam sat at his desk typing furiously on his laptop while Kate sat in one of the other chairs absently flipping through the paper. She just wanted this over with. She absolutely hated that this had to be put in front of the press. Now they'd never have any peace. She had a feeling that the attention wouldn't bother him as much as it did her, since he'd dealt with situations like this before.

She, on the other hand, was another story.

She liked quiet. She liked being able to be by herself. Sometimes, having those 2 things would be the only way that she could calm down after a bad day. She was also an intensely private person, but that was something that she'd been forced to become, and now it felt like it was becoming a problem. She wanted to tell him everything about her; the abuse, teasing, and neglect that she'd gone through, especially the rape. She'd begun having the feeling that she was being pursued, even though she hadn't been confronted or received any strange calls or items, and she was terrified that it might actually happen now that there was a picture out and CJ was going to read their statement at the briefing Monday morning. Sam's heavy sigh and the squeak of his chair brought her back to the present.

"I think I've got it," he said triumphantly as he pulled off his glasses and dropped them on the desk. "You want me to read it?"

"That's OK, Sam. I trust you," she replied with a slight smile

Hearing the sound of defeat in her voice, he looked over at her and his face fell slightly as he noticed the exhaustion on her face. "Are you feeling all right, sweetie?"

"I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all," she said, yawning as she finished.

"I'm going to give this to Toby and then we're going back to my place so you can get some rest." Her expression and tone of voice told him that there were other things that bothered her about this. He stood and began to walk towards the door. "I'll be back in a sec."

He got the statement from the printer and walked into Toby's office.

"Here you go, Toby," he said as he dropped the statement on his desk, "we're going home now."

Toby looked down at the statement and then back up at Sam.

"I don't think so."

Sam blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

"You're not leaving just yet. I have to go over this and have you correct all of the problems that I will inevitably find in it."

He closed his eyes for a second before speaking.

"Toby, we're going back to my place now. If there are problems, send me an email. I have my laptop and I can send you the corrections, but we are going home and you are not seeing me again until Monday morning. President's orders. See you later."

Sam turned and walked out of Toby's office as soon as he'd finished. He found Kate folding up the paper as he came back into his office.

"Come on, precious. We're going home," he said as he packed up his laptop & got his jacket. She quietly pulled on her coat & got her bag. He went over to her and took her hand in his. He leaned in and said quietly, "It's just you and me for the rest of the weekend. No more distractions. Let's get you home so you can rest. You look so sleepy." He released her hand and brought it up to caress her cheek with his thumb, noticing how she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. As much as he loved the fact that she reveled in his touch, it hurt to know that she was so starved for affection.

A light kiss on her forehead brought her back. "Time to go home, sweetheart," he said.

She looked up at him with sad eyes, and this time he knew why. He promised himself that he wouldn't leave her side as she slept; she was so perilously fragile at this point, especially after the few kisses they'd shared. He could tell that she feared being brushed aside once again and knew that he'd have to do everything in his power to prove otherwise. He reached down to take her hand again, squeezing it firmly as he did so, and led her out of the wing to the lot so they could go home and she could finally get some proper rest.


	25. One memory triggers another

Kate walked upstairs to change as Sam put his laptop in the office. When he came back out, the house was quiet. After locking the door, he pulled a blanket from one of the couches and went upstairs to find her asleep in the guest room.

She looked tiny in the oversized sweats she had on, almost like a swaddled infant. He gingerly climbed onto the bed beside her, pulling the blanket over them as he lay down. He snuggled up tight behind her, draping one arm over her side and slipping the other under her neck. One hand came to rest on her stomach, and he could feel her gentle breathing as it laid there. Nuzzling the back of her neck, he could feel the sunshine warmth of her hair and smell the soft lemon of her perfume. It felt like he'd been transported back to his childhood, and he closed his eyes in contentment as he lay there with Kate in his arms.

She'd felt him come onto the bed and pull the blanket over them. The sensation of his hand coming in contact with her abdomen caused her to jump imperceptibly, but the warm, slight weight there was comforting. Combined with the fact that she could feel his heartbeat resonate within her body, she felt herself succumbing to sleep at unbelievable speed. The last thing she remembered was a light kiss on the back of her neck and Sam's gentle voice.

"Sleep now, my little one, sleep. I love you."

He could watch her sleep for hours. He wanted to give her this; comfort, security, affection. Things that she'd had the misfortune to learn how to live without, but would now receive on a regular basis. He couldn't shake the heartbroken, pleading look that he'd seen in her eyes far too often, but promised himself that he would do whatever possible to make her feel loved and cherished for the rest of her life. He lay back to try and think of something he could do to help her feel better about that morning's meeting and the statement they'd been forced to write only hours before. He felt her snuggle in closer and he smiled as he closed his eyes and gave in to sleep.

He woke with a slight start a few hours later, and felt a pang of emptiness when he realized that he was alone. Suddenly, he remembered his dream and a horrible sense of guilt overwhelmed him. He'd figured out a way to make her feel better all right, but that didn't stop the guilt he felt.

He wanted to make love to her.

He couldn't help it. He wanted to erase all of her doubts and misgivings about how beautiful she truly was, both outside and inside, and prove to Kate that he wanted all of her. No matter what had happened in her past, he wanted her to know that none of it would ever matter to him; that she was too precious to him for him to ever lose.

But he also knew that getting her to that point would take a very long time. Even though they'd known each other for a while, he remembered how she'd jumped once when he'd traced the side of her neck and how skittish and frightened she looked for the rest of the night. She was becoming more and more comfortable with physical contact and would only shy away if she was truly scared or in pain. She didn't jump whenever he touched her now; in fact, she was more inclined to reciprocate or lean into it than anything else. Would she do the same as their relationship became more intimate? There was really only one way to find out.

He found her downstairs reading in the living room and smiled slightly as she jumped up when he walked towards her. He hugged her tight before they sat back down on the couch.

"Nice to see you're finally awake, sleepy."

"I was more worried about you. You look so much better than this morning. How're you feeling?"

"Better. I'm still upset at Uncle Leo, though. Why does he have to act like that toward me? I haven't done anything wrong."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration when he heard this.

"No, sweetie, you haven't. Your only crime was becoming an adult."

"What do you mean, Sam? I don't understand."

He could only hope that she wouldn't get upset with him, but he knew that hearing about his problems with Leo when he tried to date Mallory could help her feel better.

"Leo got upset with me about a year or so ago when I tried to date his daughter. He'd either hand me work when he knew that she and I had a date or funnel my opposition prep papers to her whenever they opposed one of her pet causes like school vouchers. She actually made an appointment with me to argue about the damned paper, and then proceeded to ask Leo if we could go out for lunch because, as she put it, she always 'asked her father's permission before she went out to lunch with fascists'. She's an adult, and Leo still feels the need to protect her from every guy on the face of the earth. Mal's a reasonable enough person, I guess, but all we ever did was fight about issues like that. As pretty and nice as she is, I can't live in a relationship like that. The only real memory I have about our entire time was that I was constantly on guard with her."

He didn't notice Kate getting upset as he spoke.

"That's why I love being with you. You don't expect me to be anything but what I already am. You're one of the few people that I truly feel that I can be myself with."

He looked down at her hands and noticed that her knuckles were white from how tight she'd been squeezing her hands. He laid one of his hands over hers and touched her cheek with his fingertips.

"What's wrong, little sprite? Did I say something to upset you?"


	26. Some things shouldn't be remembered

Sam saw the blank look on her face and recognized it as the same type of expression that Josh had last Christmas when he'd hurt his hand. He was in dangerous territory and had to tread carefully. Kate had gotten up and began to pace the room and, not knowing where her mind was at that moment, he could only sit there and watch until she said or did something. He jumped when she began to speak. He listened to her very closely, since her voice was no more than a whisper.

"Of course she'd treat him like that. Heaven forbid that she should allow other people to have shortcomings except herself and Aunt Jenny. I just wish I'd been able to tell him before he got hurt like this. At least then I could've told him whatthey did to me when Uncle Leo was away and he would've stayed away from her."

His mind was spinning with questions. Her voice was filled with blistering anger. Why was she so worried that she hadn't been able to help him? What had Mal and Mrs. McGarry done to her that had her so upset?

"I didn't even understand everything that was going on and still got blamed for it. All I wanted was for Aunt Jenny to hug me, just once. I just wanted Mal to be nice to me. What did they want from me? I was just a scared little kid who didn't understand. Why did they have to yell at me? Why did they have to hit me? What did I do that was so wrong? Why didn't I try to leave once the plane hit the ground? I might've been homeless and alone, but at least then I would've been safe."

Sam froze where he was, tears pricking. He'd forgotten. Mrs. McGarry had beaten her when she came here, and Mal had joined in on it. She was a child like Mal and yet... His thoughts were broken by the sound of her tears.

She was crumpled up in the corner of the room like a broken doll and continued to ask questions through her sobs. He crossed the room in 2 strides and pulled her into his lap, cuddled her close and began to rock her gently to try to still both her tears and his own. In those moments, he heard something that he thought would kill him.

"Why won't anyone love me? What've I done that's made me so horrible?"

He stopped. Holding her face in both his hands, he began to kiss away her tears. Dropping soft kisses on her eyelids, he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. He looked into her eyes as they fluttered open, and held her gaze for a long while before he spoke.

"I love you. You've done nothing wrong, my sweet one. It's not your fault that people can't see what you truly are, and when they can, they attack you out of jealousy."

Kate sniffled softly, but never broke the gaze. "Why do you love me so much, Sam?"

"Because you're you. You're brilliant, compassionate, loving, and strong. You're kind to everyone, and always so willing to give whenever you think someone needs it. You worry more about me than anyone else ever has in my life. When I'm alone at night, I can't help but miss you. When we're together, you make me feel calm, safe. You're my safe haven, Beth. That's why I love you."

She blinked and looked at him amazement. No one had ever called her that before, but it felt so right coming from him. She knew that this was where she belonged.

For the first time in her life, she felt as if someone truly did understand. When they were together, she hardly ever had to ask for the slightest thing; it was almost as if Sam could read her mind. He always knew when she needed a hug, some encouragement or a kiss. He told her several times a day how he felt about her, and always made a point to compliment her as often as possible.

Her thoughts grew hazy as Sam continued to kiss her. Kisses so long and steamy that the world seemed to disappear. She could feel him run the edges of his nails along the sides of her neck and did her best to reciprocate. He was always so gentle, so loving with her.

She had no idea what she was feeling. It felt like a match had been struck and put to forest tinder inside her chest. She felt goose bumps rise along her arms and an unfamiliar tingling sensation begin to run through her body. She had no idea what to do. By now, she was so scared and confused; she reacted the only way she knew how.

Kate pushed back from Sam so hard that she tumbled out of his lap. She could see the bewildered look on his face and the questions in his eyes, which were now a dark royal blue. He scrambled to his feet and reached toward her in an attempt to soothe her, but she backed away, a mixed look of fear and shock on her face, hand over her mouth.

He took a small step toward her before he spoke.

"Beth, precious, please, I'm..."

She shook her head violently, but her response was hardly audible.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm so, so sorry."

She turned and ran out of the room so fast that he didn't even register what had happened until he heard the front door slam.


	27. You can't run from what's in your mind

She'd had enough presence of mind to grab her bag & jacket before she flew out of Sam's townhouse. Now she just had to think straight enough to go someplace where no one would think to look for her. She really just wanted to go home, but knew that he'd call and want to talk about what happened and she really couldn't do that right now.

She ran nearly the entire way to the Metro stop, and once there she dug through her purse to get her SmartPass and realized that she'd left her meds at Sam's. The originals. She was so screwed. Shrugging her shoulders, she hopped on the train and just rode around for a while as she thought about what happened.

She felt so confused by the sensations she'd experienced as Sam kissed her. The burning, tight sensation in her chest, the goose bumps, the tingling; what did it all mean? These were all things that she'd never felt before and had no idea about their meaning. She'd heard other women discuss having them when they were with their dates, but, being so shy, she never asked what it all meant. She was too scared that they'd tease her because, other than her assault, she'd never really been with a guy. Yes, she and Sam had kissed in Minneapolis and she'd felt like she was going to lose her balance, but beyond that there had been nothing.

As she walked from the Metro stop to her aunt's, she couldn't help but wish that he was there with her, but brushed that thought aside as quickly as she could. Would he even understand her confusion over the sensations in her body? She knew that she wanted to move things forward a bit in their relationship, but how could she if she didn't understand what was going on? She could only hope that someone would help her to understand them. She wouldn't lose him to her fears, not now. They'd been apart for far too long.

Sam stared out the front window of his living room, his thoughts on what had happened between him and Kate that afternoon. He knew what he'd done was wrong. All he'd wanted was just a tiny bit more contact with her, just something small. She didn't seem to have a problem with his hand on her stomach while they slept earlier, so why had she pushed him away because he touched her neck? Didn't she understand how much he loved her? That he would never do even the slightest thing to hurt her? His thoughts were broken as he wandered toward the front entry.

He noticed that she'd taken her jacket and purse and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It was supposed to get chilly that night and he did not like the thought of her being cold one bit. All he could think of was the way that he'd found her; her fingertips, toes and lips a very pale blue from the bitter cold of the blizzard. Just the thought of it made him shudder.

He walked back into the living room and picked up the phone. There was no answer at her apartment and she wasn't picking up her cellphone, either. She was probably just out walking, he reasoned. 'I'll just give her the space she wants', he thought. He didn't want to push or pressure her into anything, ever, and knew that if he'd tried to track her down now, that's what he'd be doing. He'd nearly lost her once and he wasn't going to do that again, especially after what had happened this morning. He loved her too much.


	28. The only way to fight fear

A/N: Updates are going to slow down a bit, since real life has gotten in the way a bit. Also, my Gaelic comes from various websites & translations that I had to cobble together, since I don't speak it, unfortunately, so I apologize for my atrocious grammar and incorrect word usage in advance.

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Kate followed the agent up to the Residence and waited quietly while he got the First Lady. She came running up to the door when the agent had told her who it was. She looked Kate up and down and studied the look on her face. She looked lost, confused and upset. Just as Abbey opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, she beat her to it.

"Aintín Abbey…cabhraím."

In an instant, Abbey pulled her into an embrace and guided her inside. If she was using Gaelic, then there was definitely something wrong. She only spoke it if she was very upset or angry. She settled her on the couch in the sitting room and sat in an armchair diagonally across from where Kate was sitting. Abbey saw the tears in her eyes and asked softly, "Katie, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

She dropped her head and said something that Abbey couldn't understand.

"Sweetie, I couldn't understand you. What'd you say?"

Kate raised her head, tears running down her face. "Sam," she whispered.

Abbey studied her face before saying anything. She looked upset and heartbroken, and she was clenching her hands. She crossed over to the couch and laid a hand over one of Kate's and said softly, "What happened?"

She dropped her head again and Abbey noticed that she was blushing furiously. "Katie, I can't help you unless you tell me what happened. It's OK to be embarrassed, but I need to know what happened between the two of you."

Kate raised her head and began to tell Abbey what had happened. She found herself smiling as she told her that Sam had made sure Kate wasn't alone while she slept and how safe and loved she felt when he held her. He was just the type of man to do that, Abbey thought. Kate began to tell her about the incident that led to her running from the townhouse.

"…and he was only running his fingertips along the sides of my neck while we kissed, but I was so confused. I didn't understand what I was feeling and I got scared. I pushed myself away from him so hard that I pretty much rolled out of his lap. He tried to calm me, but I was so startled that I just ran. Once I got to the Metro, I realized that I left my meds there; my original scripts. I was still so wound up and knew I couldn't go back there."

"What were you feeling, honey?"

"My chest felt hot and tight, like a wildfire. I had goose bumps all over and I was tingling. I didn't know what any of it meant. That's why I ran. I was so confused about what was going on inside me that I couldn't think straight. I just knew I had to run."

At that moment, she knew what her adopted niece was feeling. After her assault, she changed from a quiet, relatively happy child to one that was extremely withdrawn and painfully shy. The treatment that she'd received at Jenny's hands and from classmates at school didn't really help, either. In the 2 ½ months that she and Sam had been dating, she'd watched her confidence levels shoot up. Sam was good for her. She'd noticed that he complimented her every chance he got, and he always told Kate that he loved her. Whenever they were together in public or with friends, they were always in close proximity to each other, holding hands or doing something else discreetly tactile.

Abbey knew why she ran. She didn't understand what her body was doing and got scared. She didn't want her to be scared of a perfectly natural reaction and lose a wonderful thing. She knew what she had to do.

"Did you like the way that those things felt?"

"Yeah, I did. What do those things mean, Aunt Abbey? Is there something wrong with me?" Abbey smiled to herself. She would say something like that. She, as much as anyone, valued a good Catholic school education, but now she was seeing the damage that could be inflicted by one that was too strictly governed by the Catechism and not by solid education principles.

"Honey, I need you to listen to me as a doctor, OK? I want to make sure that you understand what's going on with you."

"OK." Kate had no idea what she meant by that. Would what her aunt tell her help her understand why she'd felt the way she did?

"Neither of you did anything wrong. What you were feeling was just part of your body's sexual response. The way that Sam ran his fingers along the sides of your neck, along with other factors, hit an 'on' switch inside you and that's what triggered the responses you had. It's entirely natural and nothing to be frightened of."

She answered haltingly. "So…it's OK for me to feel like that? I-I won't get in trouble?"

Abbey smiled at her gently. "Not only is it OK, sweetheart, it's expected. It's going to take you a while for you to know what your reactions are, but I have a feeling," Abbey's smile grew as she continued, "that Sam would love the chance to help you with this."

She shook her head. "I don't think that Sam really wants to see me right now. I think I upset him very badly with the way I ran out."

"I don't think that that's the case, hon. If I know Sam as well as I think I do, He's probably more worried than anything. He loves you so much. Jed's told me that if he even mentions you in passing at Senior Staff, he gets this faraway look on his face. It's obvious to everyone around him that he's entirely in love with you."

She put her arm around the young woman's shoulders. "Why don't we do this? Stay here tonight and go to see Sam in the morning. You'll be fine without 1 dose of your meds, and it'll give you time to get your head around this before you see him. There is one thing that you'll need to do that's going to be quite hard for you, but it has to be done, if for nothing else than to make sure that Sam knows where you're coming from."

"What's…oh. I have to do that? Why?"

"He needs to know what happened to you in Ireland before you came here. This way he'll know why you react to certain things the way you do. If for nothing else, he'll know where your limits are. Come on, sweetie. Let's go see what the staff's making for dinner."

She followed her aunt toward the kitchen, her mind spinning the whole time. How would she tell him about this? More importantly, how would he react? Her old fears and insecurities began to slowly make their way to the surface. It was going to be a very long night for her, only to be followed by an even longer day.

Sam sat back on his couch and rubbed his eyes as he tried to wrap up the first draft of the position paper that he'd held meetings on during the past week, but his mind wasn't really on the paper. He closed his eyes as he thought about what happened that afternoon. What had he done to cause her to run?

She'd seemed so receptive to his advances, which he'd made sure were slow and gentle so he wouldn't frighten her. He kept going over the sequence of events in his head, but couldn't figure out why she'd run. All he really wanted was just a bit more tactile contact, the chance to feel more of her skin under his fingertips. Kate was like a drug for him; mind-altering, overpowering and addictive. He couldn't help but want more and more of her. Suddenly, the answer hit him over the head like Tribbey going after him with a cricket bat.

She'd been raped and assaulted when she was 13.

He felt horrible. How could he have forgotten? He remembered when he and the First Lady'd had their discussion not too long after he'd started dating Kate and she'd told him about her life. Why couldn't he remember that? Why had he been so selfish and not even considered what she might be feeling? He began to smack his head into the back of the couch as he mentally berated himself for scaring her off. Suddenly, he stopped himself in mid-arc, thinking he'd heard something. He listened very carefully and heard a soft tapping on the front door.

He looked at the clock. 2:15AM, and it was raining hard outside. 'Probably a branch caught in the fixture outside that keeps smacking into the door,' he thought. He got up to go to the front door so he could dislodge it and go to sleep.


	29. Facing up to it

As soon as he opened the door, he saw a figure on his doorstep with an umbrella and gave a small shout of surprise. They turned around slowly and spoke as they did so.

"I'm so sorry that I ran out, Sam."

He knew that gentle voice. He looked them in the face and immediately felt better and worse at the same time. Kate was on his doorstep and she was apologizing to him.

Once he recovered from his initial shock, he asked her inside and took her umbrella and jacket. Once he'd put those up so they could dry, he brought her into the living room so that they could sit and talk. He sat on the end that had all of his work from the position paper, clearing a spot for her. He watched with a mixture of shock and guilt as she sat at the other end. She'd always sat near him, even when they were upset with each other. This was the first time she'd made a point of sitting away from him.

"I'm not sitting over here because I'm upset with you," as she watched his face, "I'm over here because I have a lot of things I need to tell you, and I don't know how you'll react."

Sam gave her a small smile. "You'll tell me whenever you're ready to tell me, Katie. I feel horrible about scaring you the way I did. You know that I've never wanted to hurt or scare you, ever." She dropped her head & began to fidget with her hands. They both sat in uneasy silence for a long while before either of them spoke.

"Sam, you didn't frighten me. I got scared because I didn't understand what was going on inside me. I reacted the only way I know how, and I'm sorry if I upset you by running out like I did."

"You didn't upset me, sweetie. Actually, I was upset with myself because I thought I scared you by the way I touched you. I thought I'd chased you off."

She smiled and moved a little closer to him. "You could never chase me off. I promised myself that I wouldn't lose you to my fears. We've been apart for far too long, Sam. I ran because I was scared of what was happening inside me, not because of anything you did or said."

Sam nodded, but still looked confused. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I need you to listen to me very carefully. Something happened to me when I was 13."

She fidgeted with her hands for a bit because the reality of talking about it made her very nervous. He moved all the papers aside and gingerly sat down next to her, laying his hand on hers. She looked up at him and could see the love and concern in his eyes.

"I'm listening….Beth. I'll always listen."

She smiled to herself. He'd only started calling her that yesterday afternoon, but she'd quickly fallen for it. Not so much the name, but the way he said it; gentle, quiet, like a caress. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye.

"Sam, I was raped when I was 13."

She carefully watched his face for any sign of a reaction. Looking in his eyes, she saw every emotion go through them: sympathy, concern, worry, love, anger. Anger was the only one that held. Knowing what it meant, she lowered her gaze and slowly withdrew her hands from his. Even though he hadn't said it, she knew it was time for her to leave.

She got up slowly and could feel his eyes follow her. She couldn't bring herself to look at him directly. The look of disappointment and betrayal on his face would be too much for her to bear, knowing full well that she was the cause. She spoke quietly.

"I'll leave now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. I should've told you that you were getting damaged goods, and I know that you're angry with me for that. I just hope that you'll remember how much I love you, Sam."

She continued to walk toward the entry to leave. She heard his footsteps behind her and became passive when he put his hands on her shoulders. She allowed him to turn her to face him without argument or protest. He brought her chin up so that she was facing him, but she turned her head to the side to avoid looking directly at him. He turned her head to make her look at him and held her face in his hands to keep her from avoiding it.

"You never lied to me, never. You bring up something like this in your own time. I'm not angry with you at all. I'm angry with the person that did this to you. They hurt you very badly, I can tell. You should not have had to go through that, no woman should. The only reason that I'd feel hurt, which I do, is because you've been hurt."

He saw the tears in her eyes, and could feel them pricking at his own as they looked at each other.

"If this is what you meant about your past scaring me off, you're wrong. I'm not going anywhere, Beth. I love you too much to even think about leaving."

He brushed back a lock of hair from her forehead and then began to gingerly trace the outline of her face. He ran his fingertips up and down the sides of her neck, carefully watching her face for any sign of nervousness or fear, but all that he saw was love and bliss. He leaned in a little closer.

"Love, would it be all right if I kissed you?", he said in a whisper. He was afraid to make any kind of advance towards her because of the way she'd run out earlier. If it made her more comfortable, he was happy to take it all back to the beginning and work from there.

"Well, Sam, I don't know….," she said, with a teasing half-smile on her face. "I suppose you could, provided that you do it the right way," she continued.

"Thank you, but I want to make sure what the 'right way' is first before I do anything."

"Oh Sam, I think you know what the 'right way' is." She giggled quietly. He pulled her into a tight embrace, lightly playing with her hair as he held her. He'd nearly forgotten how beautiful her laugh was, and hearing it again just made him love her more.


	30. Safe place

There are a couple of choice words in this section, so skip it if you're easily offended by that type of thing.

* * *

She squealed in surprise when he picked her up and proceeded to walk toward the couch. He laughed at her reaction and settled her in his lap before wrapping the throw from the back of the couch around the two of them. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, remembering how critically important that this type of contact was to both of them.

This was their recharge mechanism. Even though they hadn't been dating very long, each drew their strength and comfort from the other. Sam was just as tactile, if not more so, than she was. She thought about when they'd first started dating, and how he'd held in his anguish about his father's betrayal.

_She knocked on the door and rang the bell several times, but he never even acknowledged that she was there and she knew for a fact that he was home. Knowing where he kept the spare key, she brought it out from its hiding place and used it to let herself in. _

_Looking around the living room, she was shocked to see all of the papers and manuals strewn about the room. Normally, Sam would only allow his briefcase to explode in his office, not out in the main room. She kept calling for him and was finally rewarded with a small childlike reply._

"_I-I'm up here."_

_He sounded so sad and lost. She quickly went upstairs to see what was going on and got the shock of her life when she pushed open the bedroom door._

_The room was quickly darkening in the fading light. "Sam?", she called quietly. She couldn't see him anywhere in the room and had no idea where else to look for him. Suddenly, she heard an anguished whisper from the other side of the bed._

"_I'm over here."_

_She rounded the bed and suddenly stopped in her tracks, unable to move or speak from the sight in front of her._

_Sam sat on the floor in front of her, curled up in a ball. His suit was rumpled to the point that it looked like he'd borrowed it from Josh. He'd opened the first 2 buttons on his shirt and loosened his tie to the point where the knot was quarter way down his chest. She could see that he held a well-loved stuffed animal tightly to him. He looked like a small boy; lost, scared, alone._

_She took a step closer and knelt down next to him. Gingerly, she touched the hair near his ear as she spoke to him very softly, "Sam, honey, what's wrong?" He raised his head to look at her and the sight shocked her. _

_His face was wet with tears with fresh ones still rolling down his cheeks. He wore a defeated expression on his face as he tried to compose himself to no avail. But those things weren't what surprised her. The look in his eyes was what made her fight her own reaction. _

_The only thing she could see was endless sadness. They were the color of the Atlantic in winter and just as unsettled. He blinked slowly as he looked at her. Trying to smile, he said, "I'll be fine. Just a very bad day, Katie. A very, very bad day."_

"_You know I don't buy that, right?"_

"_Really Katie, don't worry about it. I'll be fine."_

_She cupped his cheek in her hand. "Please, Sam, tell me what's wrong. Don't hold this in anymore. It's obvious that it's ripping you apart inside."_

_He got up from the floor and, throwing the animal on the bed, left the room. She heard him start down the stairs and got up to follow him. He'd gone into the kitchen and she was right behind him. He spun around as soon as he heard her._

"_I told you that I'm fine."_

_Her voice had an edge to it. "Yeah. And I still don't believe you, Sam."_

"_I don't want to talk about it," his voice was quiet._

_She didn't want to, but knew that she had to get pushy with him._

"_Tell me, Sam. I know you don't want to talk about it, but you need to get it out." _

_She could tell he was pissed. "Katie, I told you that I DON'T want to TALK ABOUT IT!!"_

_She settled herself slightly before responding. "I could give a damn whether you want to or not. You're going to tell me what's bothering you. The longer it takes you to tell me, the longer I'll bug you for it, and you know I won't stop."_

_He laughed bitterly. Slamming down the can he'd gotten from the cabinet, he turned on her and just let loose._

"_I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!! What part of that phrase are you having a problem with? Don't pester me about this like the child you are!! Just GO HOME, little girl. I'm NOT talking about this and don't even THINK YOU can make me!"_

_He knew what he'd said had hurt her, but in that moment, he could care less. Why couldn't she see that he just wanted to be left alone?_

_Suddenly, he noticed that her face had changed, and it didn't look like it was a good thing._

"_Little girl? LITTLE GIRL?!? I don't give a FUCK what you say about me, Seaborn and you know it. I'm a HELL of a lot stronger than you think and I'm NOT GOING ANYWHERE!! You're stuck with me, and if you don't like it, too fucking bad 'cause I'm STAYING!" _

_They stared each other down in the tense, crackling silence that followed. After about 10 minutes, Kate threw up her hands._

"_Fine. You want to be a bastard about this, Sam, go right ahead. It's so obvious that you're about ready to snap from all of the tension you're under. I can see right through you, and there are times that I can sense whatever you're feeling. Why do you think I came here tonight? You think you can handle this on your own, fine. I won't stop you. But we both know that if I'd tried any of this when we first met, you would've pushed me just as hard. So go ahead and handle this on your own, Sam, but don't track me down if you can't." She turned on her heel and started to walk out._

_Stunned, he could only stand and watch as she began to walk out of the kitchen. He had no idea that she could be that stubborn, or that she could get so loud. Her shouting had startled him. He was so used to her usual quiet tones that he had no idea she could be that loud._

_He hadn't known that she cared about him that much and it was both scary and thrilling at the same time. No one had ever pushed him like that in any of his other relationships, not this soon. His head was spinning from everything running through it, and he could only think of one thing to do._

"_K-Katie? Don't go. Please?" It came out quiet and scared. She hadn't turned, so he assumed that she just hadn't heard him. He tried again. _

"_Katie, please don't leave. I-I need you. I'm so sorry for what I said. Just please, don't leave." A little louder this time. He could only hope that she'd heard._

_She stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around. She stayed where she was and looked him over with an unreadable expression on her face. Once she was standing in front of him, she brought her hand up to touch his face and he covered it with his own as he leaned into her touch. She knew the tears were right there; she could see them. In a gentle, loving voice, she asked, "Sam, what happened?"_

"_I-I…" He looked confused, disoriented. _

"_Shhh. Let's do this. Go on upstairs and maybe change into some jeans or something so you're more comfortable. I'll bring up some water; I've got a feeling we're going to need it later. I'll be up in about 10 minutes and we can talk as much as you need to, OK?"_

_He nodded mutely and the look in his eyes hadn't changed. He tried to smile at her but couldn't._

"_Go on, sweetie. I'll be up soon."_

_She tapped on his door after she'd made sure everything was locked up. Pushing the door open slowly, she could see him sitting dejectedly on the bed. After putting everything down, she went to him and got them both settled on the bed._

"_Would you like your animal, too, Sam?"_

"_Please. Um, Katie, would you mind…" Barely audible, but she knew what he wanted. After giving him the stuffed animal, she held her arms out to him and he wearily crawled into her embrace._

"_You're safe now," she said as his head came to rest on her shoulder, "I'm right here, Sam, I'm right here."_

She felt him touch her face. "Beth? Sweetie, are you all right?"

Smiling softly, "Yeah. Just remembering the time you told me about your dad."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you about it."

"Thank you. Now," he said as he shifted to be able to see her face better, "you were going to tell me what happened when you were 13?" His tone was calm, reassuring. He was trying to make it very clear that he didn't blame her for any of what had happened then. Seeing the hesitant look on her face, he kissed her on the forehead and stroked her face with the back of his fingers.

"I won't leave, little one. Not unless you ask me to."

She gave a small smile and snuggled in closer. She couldn't avoid this any longer, so she just took a deep breath and started.

"I was coming home late from school one day. I'd had field hockey practice and then chapel. Afterwards my friends and I walked to each person's house so everyone would get home. I was the last one & lived the farthest away, so I walked home by myself….."

The sun was starting to come up outside when she'd finally finished her story. They slowly began to disentangle themselves so they'd be able to stretch. Both of them were stiff from being curled up on the couch for so long. She tried to stand up but stumbled almost immediately and Sam was right there to catch her.

"Hey, you OK?"

"I-I think so. I feel so sleepy right now. I don't even know if I'll make it upstairs."

He laughed softly. She really didn't know what to expect with him, did she? He stood up and stretched, then bent over and swept her up in his arms again.

"Sam! What're you…"

"You can barely stand up, sweetie. Let's get you upstairs and into bed."

He laid her on the bed and pulled the covers over her. Her eyes were barely open and he knew that she'd fall asleep almost immediately. He brushed back her hair and saw her smile softly. Bending over, he kissed her on the cheek and said, "Go to sleep. It's OK now. Angel mine, I love you."

She mumbled sleepily, "I love you, too."

He turned out the lights and came back upstairs. From the doorway, he could see that she'd already shifted to her side and was curled up in a ball. He smiled as he walked past her around to the other side of the bed. He loved watching her sleep; her face was always so peaceful and clear, allowing him to have his own dreams of her.

He could pretend that nothing and no one had ever hurt her. She wasn't scared to ask him for anything. Her pale, soft skin had never been marred by cuts or bruises inflicted by her family in an effort to 'discipline' her. He let his fingertips drift lightly across her upper back, remembering with pain in his heart the small scars there covered by her shirt and the long bruises that once accompanied them. The only timidity behind her touch would be from regular nervousness, not from the fear that her hand would be swatted away because her touch was unwanted. She wouldn't flinch or cower if someone raised their hand for fear of being hit. Most of all, her perfect, fragile heart would still be whole. There would be missing pieces and chips here and there, of course. He couldn't expect her to go through her life up to now without being hurt once or twice, but at least her heart wouldn't be entirely shattered the way he knew it was.

Becoming sleepier himself, he snuggled up behind her. It was going to take a long time for her to heal from all of the damage that had been done, and he could only hope that he was helping. Kissing the back of her neck, he whispered, "I never thought that you were damaged goods, sweet Katie. You've always been perfect to me."

Kate shifted as they slept. Her arm came out from underneath the covers and came to rest on top of Sam's, her hand taking hold of his as her heart and spirit healed just that much more because of him.


	31. First time out

The lyrics referenced are from Elton John's _Tiny Dancer_.

* * *

"So, Sam," CJ asked as they walked to Senior Staff, "are you bringing Kate with you to the Correspondents' Dinner?"

"I haven't asked her yet, but I plan on it," he replied. Things were going so well between the two of them. She had begun to open up more about her past with him and it had only served to bring them closer together. They had become inseparable, except when it came to dealing with Josh. She always found ways not to be around, or at least not in the room if Josh was going to be at Sam's apartment, and she was always polite with him if the four of them went out. He loved her entirely and Josh was his best friend. There was no familiarity between them, and it bothered Sam a great deal.

"Do you think she'll be able to handle the attention?", CJ continued. There had been a minor feeding frenzy after the photos of the two of them got out, but the statement Sam had written had managed to quiet the press. After it had been released, CJ had received inquiries from some of the better magazines about doing a feature primarily on Sam that would include Kate. She still had many of the same concerns as earlier, but those came from her own instincts. She refused to give voice to them unless there was a real reason to, and had yet to tell Sam about any of the inquiries. She still wasn't sure if she was going to grant any of them access yet.

"I think so. We'll talk about it when I ask her tonight."

They walked into Leo's office right behind Toby. Josh followed soon after, and another day began in the West Wing.

Josh stuck his head in Sam's office. "Hey, buddy. What's doin'?"

He didn't even look up from his laptop, "Not much. What're you up to?"

"I've got a 1:30 with Appropriations. You want to go get some lunch?"

"Let me finish this one thing and I'll go with you. Give me 10 minutes?"

"OK. See you in a bit."

Sam hit 'Save', took off his glasses and sat back. This was only the second draft of the speech, but he felt like he was really getting somewhere with it. He hoped that Toby wouldn't hack it up too badly once he was finished with it, but there was nothing that could be done if he did.

He'd actually been a bit concerned about Toby lately. He seemed more distant and irascible than usual, but Sam knew better than to ask if there was something wrong. If he felt the need to share, Toby would ask to talk to him. Beyond that, he'd just keep his concern for his boss to himself and keep working.

Josh stuck his head in. "You ready?"

"Yeah," he said as he grabbed his jacket, "let's go."

"So," Sam said after they'd gotten their drinks, "you taking Donna to the Correspondents' Dinner next week?"

"Yeah. What about you?"

"You know I'm going to ask Kate." He figured he may as well bring up the subject anyway. Better now while they were both in a good mood about it. "You know, I don't understand why you don't try to get to know her better. She's really wonderful. I think the two of you could be good friends if you'd talk to her once or twice when the four of us go out."

Josh sighed. He really didn't like Kate and never really had. As far as he was concerned, she was a spoiled brat who got in the way of everything. He remembered Mallory's complaints soon after she'd moved in.

_Daddy makes such a big fuss over her. It's as if I'm not even there. All she ever does is sit and read or stare out the window. She hardly talks, and my father will sit there and have a conversation even though she'll barely respond. I tell her not to touch my things and she looks at me like she's going to cry. Even at school, I pass her in the hall and she's either got her head down and won't look at anyone or she'll look at me like she expects me to say something and protect her from everything going on around her. I don't understand why Dad told Aunt Bridget she could come live with us. She's nothing but a big baby and more trouble than she's worth. _

"You've seen me try to talk to her, Sam. I try to talk to her and she hardly responds. As far as I'm concerned, it's pointless for me to even try. Personally, I don't see why you're dating her. She's not like you at all."

Their meals came at that moment, so Sam was able to keep himself from saying something stupid to his friend.

"She's unbelievably smart and articulate, Josh. I know that she's shy, but…"

"Shy? If I didn't know her, I wouldn't think that she could talk, Sam. She scares me with the way that she just watches everything and never says a word. I'm sorry, man. I know she's your girlfriend, but she really annoys me."

Sam tried to keep his emotions in check. He knew that Josh could be stubborn, but to not even try to get to know Kate, even after all these months, really ticked him off. He decided to let it go. It wasn't worth getting into a fight with him; not now, anyway.

"So, what are you meeting with Appropriations about?"

Kate was waiting for him when he got home that night. They'd made plans to meet there for dinner, and he decided that he'd ask her then. He wanted the chance to show her off to the rest of the world. She was the most beautiful woman in Washington, as far as he was concerned, both inside and out.

He could smell dinner as soon as he walked in the door and felt the day disappear as soon as he shut it. She'd put on an Elton John CD, and he could hear her singing in the kitchen. Very quietly, he moved from the entry to the side of the dining table where he knew she couldn't see him and just stood there listening as she sang along.

"….Pretty eyed pirate smile, you'll marry a music man. Ballerina, you must've seen her dancing in the sand. Now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer, in my hand…"

She had such a complex voice, able to change it to fit whatever or whoever she was singing with. He had no idea how, but she was able to do little vocal tricks and harmonize with the CD, which made it sound even better. She wouldn't sing for him, though. The one time he'd asked her, she refused, so he made himself content with moments like this.

Not wanting to startle her while she was at the stove, he made a few small noises outside before walking into the kitchen. She'd already set the small table for the two of them, and was finishing the rice as he came up behind her.

"Hello, love," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her neck, "what're you making? It smells great."

"Balsamic chicken and peppers over rice. I just hope you like it. It was a really long day and I wanted to make something simple. I hate tax season. I won't have a life again until June at this rate."

Sam chuckled. "Now you know what I feel like when I have to write the State of the Union. You want me to help?"

"Get the drinks and tell me how much rice you want, please."

He went to the fridge, got 2 cans of Pepsi and brought them to the table. "Plenty, please. I'm hungry."

They settled in and began eating once she'd put the plates down. He noticed how distracted and tired she looked while they ate.

"Rough day, Beth?"

"Hm?" She looked at him confusedly. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't hear you."

"I asked if you'd had a rough day. You must've if you're lost in your thoughts like that."

"A bit of one, yeah. It's just been a lot of data entry and such, and everyone's on edge. I feel like I'm going to need glasses very soon," she said as she rubbed her eyes and blinked. She gave a small smile, hoping he wouldn't worry too much. There was so much else that was more important, but she knew that wouldn't stop him.

"Hey," he said, noticing the look on her face, "what're you doing next Friday night?"

"Nothing yet, why?"

"Would you come with me to the Correspondents' Dinner?" He watched her face as he spoke, wondering what her reaction would be.

"That's the one where you guys make fun of the press, right? Sure, I guess. I assume I wear a suit to this?"

Sam mentally cursed the world when he heard that. "No, actually. I have to wear my tux, if that gives you any idea."

She looked down at her plate. He was wearing his tuxedo, which meant that she needed to wear a dress. The only problem was that she didn't have the money to get something that would be par with what the other women would be wearing. She had 1 or 2 dresses, but nothing like that.

He knew the look on her face when she looked back up again. "I'm sorry, honey, but I don't think I'll be able to go after all."

"Why?" He wanted her to be there, to laugh at the jokes and the sketches with him. He'd been looking forward to going to something like this and not have it be 'just work' for once.

"There's no way that I can afford a dress that'd be appropriate, and I don't want to embarrass you by…"

He knew her tone of voice, too. Apologetic, resigned, defeated. So much like it was when they first met.

"Stop. Just…stop. If you need a dress for this, I'll take you shopping. If you want to wear something you've already got, it won't embarrass me. I just want you there next to me. I want to be able to introduce my girlfriend to people for once, not just tell them about her."

She could see the hurt look in his eyes and was angry with herself for putting it there. She'd always trusted him in the past on matters more serious than this, so there was no reason not to now. Besides, it was only a dinner. She smiled apologetically and placed her hand on his.

"You're right, sweetheart, and I'm sorry. I'd love to go with you to the dinner. I'm just nervous about all those people." 'And whether they're going to make fun of what I'm wearing,' she thought.

He smiled back at her. "I understand. I'll be right there with you, so you don't have to worry about being alone." Squeezing her hand, "We'll have a good time, Beth, really. Now," he said as he waved toward her plate with his fork, "why don't we get back to dinner?"

The rest of the evening passed quietly. After dinner, they went to the living room where Sam continued working on the Chicago speech while Kate watched a Robin Williams concert that had been taped in New York a while back. She was laughing uncontrollably and he smiled to himself as he listened to her. It was so good to hear her laughter; to him, it was like music. He always felt lighter whenever he heard it.

He'd lost track of the time as he worked on the speech. One moment, he was listening to Kate laugh at what she was watching, the next, the house was quiet save for CNN. Hitting 'Save' on his laptop, he sighed as he put it on the coffee table and took off his glasses. He looked over at the couch and saw her curled up, fast asleep. He wasn't going to wake her now; it was late and it wouldn't be safe for her to go home. She'd been coming by so often that lately she began keeping a bag there so that she wouldn't need to worry about rushing back to her apartment to change for work.

He leaned over and pushed a tendril behind her ear. His Beth, so peaceful and calm as she slept. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, and moved to pick her up so he could carry her upstairs. After he laid her on the bed, he wasn't sure what to do. He was a bit afraid to change her into her sleepwear, since they hadn't been that intimate with each other yet, but he didn't want her to sleep in her clothes, either. He decided to treat this the same way he had when he first found her in the snow. Change her into the other clothing as quickly as possible with a minimal amount of contact.

He unbuttoned her blouse, exposing more and more of her pale skin as he did so. The sight of it so beautiful that his fingers ached to touch it, but he kept himself in check by reciting the members of Congress in his head. As he began to pull her arm out of one sleeve, she stirred and woke slightly.

"Sam? What're you doing?" She mumbled sleepily.

"I didn't want you to sleep in your clothes, precious. I only wanted to get you ready for bed, nothing more," he replied contritely. He looked in her eyes, trying to convey his reasons and the fact that he'd had no intention of even trying to take advantage of her.

She smiled at him, touched by his apology. She knew what he wished he was doing, and was awed by the way he held himself back. She brought her hand up to touch his face. With that caress and a soft smile, she accepted it.

"I'll go inside and finish changing, sweetheart. I'll be out soon," she said, getting up from the bed and going into the other room to finish. Sam stared after her, both grateful and humbled that she'd accepted his reasons for his actions and his apology. He wanted her so badly in so many ways that it was becoming agony for him. Swearing softly, he went into the bathroom to change before she came back in. He didn't know how he was going to get through this night with Kate in his arms, in his bed, but he would, just as he had so many nights before.

Kate looked out the window into the street after she'd finished changing. She'd left the room dark, so she knew no one would see her as she watched the neighborhood below. She'd started to wake up as he'd begun unbuttoning her blouse, at first wondering what was going on. Once she realized, she fought the initial panic that began to take over her consciousness. She knew in her heart that Sam would never do that to her, especially after his reaction to her recounting of the rape. She couldn't help wishing, though, that he'd given in to some of his smaller urges. She wondered what it would feel like to feel his lips on her skin, the touch of his fingertips somewhere other than her face.

She was looking out the window when Sam found her there. He came up behind her, took her hand and gently guided her into his embrace. They stood there for a long while in the quiet, each lost in their thoughts as they held each other.

Sam wondered if she was upset with him for what he'd started to do. He loved her so much and couldn't bear to imagine what things would be like if she began to equate him with her attacker. He fought against himself every time he saw her. There were times when he wanted to be just a little rougher with her; nothing that would hurt her, but not treating her like fine crystal, either. He remembered other women, other times when he would kiss them roughly, possessively, hold them tighter than he did Kate. He felt that he had to be gentle with her, that she needed tenderness after being battered about for so long, both emotionally and physically. He was afraid that if he was rough with her, she might think that he would hurt her physically, and that was something he just couldn't bear.

Kate could feel the tension in his body and wondered what he was thinking. She wondered if he felt the same way that she did about intensifying their relationship. She loved the way he treated her; after being beaten and pushed aside so many times, it felt wonderful to be treated like someone's treasure, but hated the fact that he always acted like she was going to break if he touched her the wrong way. She was afraid to tell him, though, for fear of seeming ungrateful. For the first time in her life she was truly happy and didn't want to lose that. She hugged him tighter, not wanting any of it to be a dream.

He felt her arms tighten around him and responded in kind. He brought one hand up and began to play with her hair lightly. Dropping a light kiss on the top of her head, he said quietly, "Let's go to bed, Beth." She looked up at him with a small smile and gave him a soft kiss. They smiled at each other, contentment written across their faces, and walked into the bedroom. There were no questions that night, just the two of them wrapped around each other and whispered "I love you's" as they fell asleep.


	32. Stage fright

"I really don't know what I'm going to do, Ginge. I've got a black dress, but I don't know if it'll match up to what any of the other women there will be wearing. I just don't want to embarrass Sam," Kate said worriedly as she picked at her sandwich. The two of them met for lunch occasionally and had become close over the 4 months that Kate and Sam had been together. He asked Ginger to take her out one day, and the two of them had been doing it ever since.

"You won't embarrass him. He does enough of a job on that on his own," Ginger replied, laughing. "Besides, he tells everyone about you. Even in the office, I can tell that he's excited about the Dinner, and I know it's because he's bringing you. He didn't act like this at all last year." She could see that she was nervous. This was her first really big "event" since the pictures that were taken of the two of them at the Northwest gate and Ginger knew that she was concerned with making a good impression.

"Listen, does the dress make you look really good?" Ginger asked.

"Yeah, I look really nice in it. It stops at the knee and has two large shoulder straps. It's all in the same fabric, and I've had it altered so that it fits me really well. It's a very plain dress, that's why I'm worried."

"Don't be. I heard Sam saying to Josh one day that he liked it best when you were just in jeans and a plain t-shirt. He said that you're at your most beautiful when you wear something simple. You are so damned lucky. You have any idea how many women in the building would kill to be in your situation?"

"I know that I'm very lucky. I just… I don't know. I don't want anything to go wrong, I guess."

"Don't worry about it. I assume you've already got heels to wear with it?"

"I've got a pair of ½ inch blocked heels. I can't handle regular heels. I walk like a duck in them and can barely stay upright. One of us has to appear like we can keep our balance that night. You really think this'll be OK?"

"I'm sure. Bring your stuff by the office tomorrow night and you can come to my place to get ready."

The two of them finished their lunches & headed back to their respective offices. Kate had wanted to go back with Ginger to surprise Sam, but things were so busy at her office that there was no way that she could afford to that day. She made herself content with the thought that she'd see him tomorrow night.

He saw Ginger return to her desk from lunch and noticed the expression on her face. He knew that she and Kate'd gone to lunch together, and he could only assume from the look on her face that something had happened. He walked out to her desk.

"Hey, Ginger. How was lunch?"

Ginger looked up at him in surprise. Sam rarely asked her about her lunch. He was considerate, but some things he didn't usually ask about, and how her lunch had gone was one of them.

"It was fine, Sam. Kate wanted to come back with me to surprise you, but her office is so busy that she had to go back."

He could tell there was something else going on. He motioned for her to follow him into his office, closing the door once she was inside.

"Ginger, what did you and Kate talk about at lunch?"

"Nothing much, Sam. Typical girl stuff."

He knew she was holding out on him about their conversation.

"Ginger, please tell me. Is there something wrong with Kate that she won't tell me?"

"Sam, you know I don't like being in the middle of this."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but if there's something wrong…."

"Nothing's wrong. She's just…she's scared about tomorrow night. Really scared."

"What do you mean? She's going to look beautiful, no matter what she wears."

"I know that and you know that, but she's terrified that she's going to make you and the President look bad if her dress isn't up to par."

Sam ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He should've known. Her shyness and insecurity had a miserable habit of rearing its head at the worst times. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't control it; hell, she couldn't control the fact that she was shy and insecure. He knew that all he could do was be reassuring and supportive, but there were times when he didn't know how much more he could take.

Sighing, "OK. Thanks, Ginger."

He knew he'd have to work on her that night. She was going to be the most beautiful one in the room, he was sure of it. Now he just had to convince her of this fact. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, he got back to work revising the speech that Toby'd just given back to him. The President was speaking at the SME conference in Chicago at the end of the next week and this had to be ready.

Sam didn't get back to his place until late that night. He came in as quietly as he could, for fear that he'd wake her. She'd developed a habit of waiting up for him the nights that she got to his townhouse first. Usually, she'd be up when he got home, but there were times when he'd come home to find she'd fallen asleep waiting for him.

He came in to find everything dark. It was then that he realized Kate wasn't there. Normally, she'd leave at least 1 small light on for him, even if she was going to be asleep. Snapping on a light on the end table as he walked through the room towards the answering machine, he noticed a note by the phone. He smiled as he recognized Kate's small script:

_My sweetheart,_

_I couldn't stay. I had to go home and get everything ready for tomorrow. I'm going to Ginger's to get ready for the dinner and she and I will meet you at the Hilton. It's going to be hard to sleep without you tonight. I love you._

_-Katie _

"If it's going to be so hard for you to sleep without me tonight, then why didn't you stay?" he wondered aloud as he reread the note. He placed it back where he'd found it as he hit the button on the answering machine. He hoped that she'd gotten home all right. He didn't like it when she went home late. Her neighborhood wasn't safe at all. She didn't live that far from Charlie, and from what he'd told him about his neighborhood, he could only assume that Kate's was the same or worse.

"Hi, sweetie. It's just me. I know that you'd worry if I didn't call, so I wanted to tell you I got home OK. I miss you, even though I know I'll see you tomorrow night. Night-night, Sam. I love you."

He smiled wistfully as he listened to her message a second time. She knew him too well. He closed his eyes, and for a moment, he could feel her in his arms. She wasn't the only one who missed someone. He had no idea that her absence would be so palpable. Locking up for the night, he went upstairs to the bedroom to finally get some sleep.

Settling into bed with a sigh, out of instinct he reached over to where Kate would lay. His hand came to rest on a shirt that she'd slept in a few days earlier. Pulling it to him, he could smell something like lemons and powder. It was a soft, sweet scent, "Just like her," he thought. He looked at the picture of the two of them on the nightstand; he was holding her as they leaned against a cherry blossom tree in bloom, both of them looking out towards the Tidal Basin. Smiling at the memory, he said softly, "I miss you, too, Beth. I'll be with you in your dreams." Settling his head on the pillow, shirt still in his hands, he quickly fell asleep.


	33. 5 minutes to curtain

Kate nervously looked around the main ballroom of the Washington Hilton. It was the cocktail hour before the annual Washington Correspondents Dinner and Sam was nowhere in sight. Ginger had gone off to find Bonnie as soon as they'd gotten there; she'd gotten a call from her while they were on their way there saying that there was a problem with some of the stuff that had been sent over from the White House, and since she and Bonnie were the first assistants there, it had fallen to them to fix it. Kate hadn't wanted to be a problem, so she told her to go ahead and meet up with Bonnie and she would just wait where she was for Sam. Unfortunately, she hadn't judged how uncomfortable she'd be in the meantime.

Every Washington power-broker, writer and politico that mattered was in that room. She looked with longing at the beautiful ball gowns that some of the women were wearing. She felt so out of place with her little black dress and blue faux pashmina wrap; a little girl playing dress-up. The dress was simple and nondescript, stopping just below her knee, with darts on either side that stopped at the middle of her kneecap. It had tank straps with a scoop neckline, and she'd managed to have it altered to the point where it followed all of her curves perfectly. She'd worn her blocked-heel shoes with off-black stockings and very little jewelry. She had on her school ring and a blue topaz ring that she'd gotten as a gift from a family friend, small rope-twist hoop earrings and gold dots in her double-pierced ears and a small necklace.

The charm on the gold necklace stopped right under the gap in her clavicle. It was a script 'K', with a tiny diamond where the three lines that made up the letter met. She never knew who had given it to her. The Christmas after she'd met Sam, she found it among the presents that Mike had brought up when he came back from school. It was wrapped in paper different from all the other gifts, and her name had been written on the bottom in marker. Not sure what to do, she'd brought it back to her room and hidden it until she came in for bed that night. After they'd come back from Mass, she waited until she thought everyone else was settled in bed and nearly asleep before she turned on her little bedside light and pulled the mystery package from its hiding place.

Pulling off the paper, she found a velveteen jewelry box. Opening it, the necklace lay on the raised bed inside the box. She couldn't believe that someone would give her something so beautiful; as far as she knew, she was too plain to ever have anything like that. Pulling the bed loose from the box, she found a little note underneath. Opening it, she saw that it was written in a clean, flowing script that she didn't recognize.

_Know that there is someone who thinks you're beautiful and who cares about you very much. Merry Christmas, little one. I miss you._

She kept that note with her all these years. She really didn't start wearing the necklace until she went away to school, for fear that her aunt or cousin would see it and take it from her, especially when she wouldn't be able to tell them where it came from. She wanted so much to know who had sent the necklace to her, but she had no idea where to even begin looking, so she resigned herself to the fact that she'd never find them.

She searched the room, praying that Sam had come in when she wasn't looking. She was getting very nervous now. She swore that she could hear people whispering about her and the fact that she was so underdressed. She hoped that he'd get there soon. She was starting to get jumpy and scared, and it was only getting worse by the minute.

"Excuse me; you're Kate Dillon, aren't you?"

She turned around to see a tall man with medium brown hair and glasses. She didn't recognize him.

"I'm sorry. Do I know you?"

"No, you wouldn't. I'm sorry. I'm Will Sawyer."

Will Sawyer. She knew that name. She remembered Sam mentioning him once or twice as being one of CJ's favorites from the briefing room. He'd said that Will was one of the few White House reporters that didn't care about the fact that they were dating. Will, he'd said, was more concerned on the 'real news' than Washington gossip.

"Oh, yeah. Sam's mentioned you once or twice."

"Where is he? I can't imagine that you'd come here alone."

She laughed, "No, he hasn't gotten here yet. I came with one of the other staffers and we just got here early."

Will looked her over with an appraising eye. "Are you all right? You look a little…I don't know, frightened."

She gave a small smile before she spoke. "I'm just very shy. I get nervous whenever I'm somewhere where I don't know anyone. It doesn't help that I feel like I'm underdressed, either."

"I think you look wonderful. Much better than the rest of this bunch, anyway. I never understood why the women always felt the need to wear haute couture to this thing. A simple dress like yours is perfect. In theory, this is supposed to be about journalistic excellence among the Washington press corps, not a fashion show for the women in attendance."

Kate blushed at the compliment. "Th-thank you, Mr. Sawyer. No one's ever said anything like that to me before."

"You're welcome. Please, call me Will. It's the least I can do, since you're keeping me sane amongst the inmates. Care to join me?" He motioned to a nearby table.

"Sure. I can't deal with being in heels, anyway," she said as she sat in the chair that he'd pulled out for her.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Please. A ginger ale, if they have it."

"Sure," he said as he waved over one of the waiters and gave him her order. "So, how are you dealing with being among the Washington elite?"

"Fine, I guess. Sam and I don't really go to things like this. This is actually my first one."

"Oh. So how do you..."

"Katie! There you are!"

They turned to see Sam coming toward them at a fast clip. Will stood and moved to the side so that Sam wouldn't think that he was trying to pick her up.

"Hey, Will. How are you?" he said as he shook his hand.

"Fine, thanks, Sam. I found Kate standing by herself and thought that she could use some company until you got here. Now that you've finally shown up, I'll leave you two alone. Kate, it was nice meeting you. I hope I get to bump into you at the White House sometime."

"Nice meeting you, too. Maybe, you never know when I might be around keeping this guy," she looked up at Sam and smiled as she said, "occupied, or distracted, as the case may be."

Once Will had turned to leave, Sam focused his attention on Kate.

"I'm sorry I got here so late. The President had some last minute changes that he wanted to make. I didn't mean to keep you waiting. Was everything all right?"

He studied her face as he spoke and knew that she hadn't been. He could see the nervousness and fear in her eyes, and her tight smile told him just how bad it had been for her.

"Yeah," she said brightly, hoping he wouldn't worry, "I was fine. It wasn't that bad."

"Your eyes say otherwise, precious. Come with me."

Sam held his hand out to her. Once she'd taken it, he led her to a secluded alcove he'd noticed when he came in earlier. Once they were safely inside, away from the rest of the world, he turned to face her. Lightly trailing two fingers down the side of her face, he looked into her eyes and could see the fear dissipating. He kissed her softly, to remind her that she was safe and loved, that she had nothing to fear. When they broke the kiss, he stepped back to admire her.

"Beth, you look amazing. That dress is perfect on you. I swear, if I didn't have to be at this thing, we'd be on our way home right now."

"Sam!" she giggled. He'd never said things like that to her before. Suddenly, she saw his face change as he looked at her. He reached up and touched the charm of her necklace.

"Where did you get that?" he whispered. She didn't understand why he looked so shocked.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

"Where did you get that necklace, Beth?" More forceful now, almost as if he was demanding an answer.

"I got it the Christmas after we met. I found it in Mike's bag with my name written on it in marker. I opened it after we got back from Mass on Christmas Eve. I couldn't believe someone would give me something so beautiful. I didn't think I deserved something like it; I was so plain and small. There was a note inside the box that said…"

"Know that there is someone who thinks you're beautiful and who cares about you very much. Merry Christmas, little one. I miss you," he said softly. She looked at him in shock.

"H-how did you know what it said? I've never shown it to anyone."

"I know because I wrote it, little one. I was the one that gave you that necklace. All these years I wondered if you ever got it. I slipped it into Mike's bag before he left and prayed that you'd find it before anyone else. I was worried about what life was like at home for you, and I just wanted you to know that there was someone that cared about you. I wanted to give you something to smile about. The same reason that," he moved to pull something out of his jacket pocket; "I got you this."

He opened the long box to reveal a diamond tennis bracelet. She stared at it in shock, unable to speak. Slowly, she brought one hand up to her chest and raised her eyes to meet his. He could read the disbelief and surprise in them. Smiling gently, he pulled the bracelet from the box and took her hand so that he could put it on her. She pulled away.

"Sam, I-I can't take this. It must've cost a fortune. I don't deserve something like this. I-it's too much."

"Sweetheart, you deserve more than just this. This bracelet is only a small part of what should be given to you. I want you to have this, Beth. Please, may I put it on you? I know that it'll look beautiful on your wrist. Please?"

She could tell from the look on his face that she wasn't going to win this argument. She put out her arm so that he could put it on. Snapping the catch into place, he brought her wrist up and placed a lingering kiss on the inside of it. He gently drew her closer and put his arms around her.

"It looks wonderful on you, my love. I wish it was just the two of us tonight. You're far too exquisite to share with anyone," he said as he lightly traced her cheekbone with his fingertips.

"Sam," she whispered shyly, dropping her head. She never could get used to his compliments. She knew that he was sincere, but as a child she'd been led to believe that compliments were things said to other people, never to her. She was far too plain and small to ever warrant a kind word about her appearance, too shy and quiet to receive any about her behavior or her intelligence.

However, he was fighting to change that. He'd made it a point to compliment her any chance he had, even if it was something as simple as telling her that she had a pretty smile or that he liked her outfit. Ever so slowly, her self-confidence was growing, but there was still a long way to go before she was out of the danger zone. It was still very fragile. The wrong word or comment could send her back to the beginning, and he fought against that every day.

"It's true," he replied as he tipped her face back up so he could look into her eyes. "Your dress highlights your stunning figure, and the color accents your beautiful china white skin. I won't be far from you tonight at all. Every reporter in DC is going to know that we're together, publicity be damned. My beautiful, sweet Beth, I love you."

"I love you, too, my wonderful, gentle Sam. I love you more than I could ever tell you."

Their lips met in a tender, delicate kiss. No words were needed when they broke apart; each touch said a world of things that neither would even dream of vocalizing, at least not there. A look passed between them before they stepped back out into the main hallway, one that promised that they would continue their conversation when they were safely alone, away from prying eyes and ears, and could say whatever they wished.


	34. Just when you thought it was safe

They came out of the alcove and walked back towards the main ballroom hand in hand. They were oblivious to the looks they were getting from the people they passed, but it was impossible to miss the buzz of the crowd as it grew louder. He felt her hand tighten around his and gave her a sideways glance. Her face had become tight, the small smile she'd been wearing pasted in place.

"Sam! There you two are."

"Hey, Charlie. Does Toby need me?"

"Actually, the President and First Lady. They were wondering if you'd found Kate yet and wanted you to bring her over to see them."

"Sure. Lead the way."

They followed Charlie to a suite just off the ballroom that was guarded by the ubiquitous black suits. Walking into the suite, they found the Senior Staff and the President and First Lady milling about with the Correspondents' Association board of directors and that evening's award recipients. Suddenly, the President's booming voice cut through all other conversation.

"Sam! There you are! You found our girl?"

Sam and Kate smiled at each other. The President treated her like another daughter and was nearly as protective. "Yes, sir, and she looks more beautiful than any other woman in the room, with the exception of you, ma'am."

The First Lady laughed at the qualifier, "Sam, I don't mind being outshined by Katie. She's a beautiful woman; no wonder you couldn't resist her. Katie, sweetheart," she said as she moved to hug her, "you look wonderful."

"Thanks, Aunt Abbey. I feel bad that I'm not as dressed up as you, but I…"

She cut her off. "Nonsense! That dress is perfect for tonight. It makes you look amazing."

Sam put his arm around her and drew her close. "See, I told you so. She didn't believe me when I told her that whatever she wore would be fine."

"Sam's right, Katie. Why do you think I let him write my speeches?" The President had walked over to join the three of them. "You look beautiful, honey," he said as he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

They talked with them for a while as other staffers and guests in the room came up to say hello or speak to the President and First Lady. The entire time, Sam kept his arm around Kate, lightly running his fingers up and down her side, tracing her curves. Neither of them noticed Mallory on the far side of the room casting a baleful look at Kate.

"That little mouse should know better! After all these years, she still hasn't learned her place. It looks like I'm going to have to remind her tonight," she said to herself.

"I'm sorry, Mal. What did you say?" her date asked. She hadn't realized that she'd been loud enough for someone to hear her.

"Oh, nothing. Just remembering something I have to do before I go back in on Monday, that's all," she replied with a tight smile.

The conversations in the room continued until the banquet manager came in to let them know that dinner was ready and they could begin seating themselves. By the time they got to the room, most of the Press Corps had already seated themselves, but the entire room stood as the President and First Lady made their way to the dais. Senior Staff followed, sitting amongst the front tables with the exception of CJ, who was also on the dais. Once the President and First Lady were seated, the wait staff began bringing out the appetizer and the Correspondents' Dinner got underway.

The entire room was in an uproar as the President finished his speech. Still laughing, the room gave him a standing ovation that continued long after he'd returned to his seat on the dais. After the ovation had ended and everyone sat back down, the wait staff brought a large tray to the table where Sam and Kate were sitting with Toby and Andi and set it on the table. There were 6 kinds of pie on the tray. Suddenly, they heard the President say, "I thought you guys could use some pie," and the tables around them erupted into laughter once again.

Kate did a lot of listening that night. Not really knowing anyone at the table other than Sam, she was afraid to say anything. He noticed how quiet she was and could tell by the look on her face that she was nervous. Very subtly, he caressed the inside of her elbow before he leaned in and said quietly, "Don't be scared. Just relax and enjoy yourself, Beth." She looked at him and he gave her a gentle smile before giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. Neither of them noticed the smiles of the other couples at the table as they witnessed the exchange, nor the positively evil look they were getting from Mallory a few tables over.

Mal watched Sam kiss Kate's forehead and saw red. She couldn't believe it. The little mouse that had been forced on her when she was 17 and she thought had been trained well enough to know her place was there with Sam Seaborn, one of DC's most eligible bachelors, and he was fawning all over her. She'd had a thing for him in the past, and it could be said that she still harbored some feelings for him, but after the photo of him with the call girl appeared in the paper, she expected him to call and apologize, which he never did. She decided that she'd teach the mouse a lesson that night; it was just a matter of when.

Mal had her opportunity when Kate left to use the ladies' room during dessert. Waiting a discreet few minutes after she'd left, she followed her into the restroom. Kate didn't notice her as she quickly checked the room to make sure that it was just the two of them before she made her move.

"Mouse!" Mal spat out venomously.

Kate recognized the voice, even though she hadn't wanted to. She kept her eyes on her reflection in the mirror as she checked her lipstick, hoping that she was just imagining Mal in the room with her. She was so wrong.

"Turn around when I'm talking to you, Mouse!" Mal said icily.

Very slowly, Kate put her lipstick back in her bag and turned to face Mal, trying to keep the fear from showing on her face. As she looked at her, she was mentally casing the room and trying to locate the nearest escape.

"What do you think you're doing here, huh? You're not even dressed properly! No great surprise there, though. You never could dress properly for anything," Mal said in an evil tone.

"I'm here because Sam asked me to come with him, Mallory. I am dressed properly. I've received several compliments about my outfit. Sam likes what I'm wearing and…," Kate replied in an even tone. She knew she had to be careful. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene and embarrass Sam or the President, even though, she thought with a small smile, Mallory was well on her way to embarrassing the President on her own.

"Sam!" Mal cut her off. "He must've been really desperate for a date if he brought you, or did you pay him to bring you along? There's no way that he asked you willingly. You're so plain and ugly! Sam's got much better taste than to be seen with you!"

Kate fought to keep the tears in. She knew Mal was wrong, she knew it. She wasn't going to let her make her cry, not tonight. She was just starting to relax and enjoy herself.

"As hard as it may be for you to believe, Mal, Sam loves me. I don't know if you've seen the papers or talked to Uncle Leo lately, but we're together and plan to stay that way."

Mallory stared at Kate in shock. This was not the well-trained, meek girl that had come to live with them 13 years ago, this was someone else. All those years of hard work that she and her mother had invested in 'training' Kate were gone. She had to be put back in her place. She crossed the space between them and backhanded Kate across the face, cutting her badly with the ring that she wore. Mallory gave a sickening smile as the gash on Kate's face began to bleed.

"Let's see how pretty he thinks you are with that gash, Mouse. I'll bet he'll be running in the other direction in no time. Oh, don't worry, I'll be there to take care of him. You," she said, leaning in and continuing in a menacing tone, "remember your place and keep your distance or you'll get worse than a cut on your face from a piece of jewelry."

Mallory turned to leave with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. She'd taught the mouse her place once again and Sam would be hers. Oh, she'd make him beg for a bit; make him suffer for the photo, but…

"He won't go to you, Mallory," Kate's quiet voice cut into her thoughts.

"Excuse me, Mouse? I thought you said something," Mal replied sharply.

"I said, he won't go back to you. He told me that the only real memory that he has of when you were together is that he always had his guard up and that he couldn't live like that. He won't go to you, Mallory. He'd sooner go to Laurie and risk the scandal than go to you." Kate smiled as Mal looked at her in shock. She knew that bringing up Laurie would stop Mallory in her tracks. She knew that Laurie and Sam were friends and nothing more; she'd made a point of meeting her and getting to know her. Mallory, on the other hand, didn't believe it was possible for him to be friends with a woman like that.

Mallory didn't know what to do at that point. To give Kate the beating that she thought she deserved right then would run the risk of someone finding out, and there's no way that she'd do that to her father. But to her, walking out without doing anything was just as bad. How was she going to learn her place if she wasn't sent flying back there in a hurry?

"Know this, Mouse," she said in a threatening tone as she came in very close to Kate's face, "you may not be getting your beating now, but you will get it. You won't know when it's coming, but it's coming, and it's going to be worse than anything my mother ever gave you. Sam won't be able to protect you from it, either." She straightened and swept out of the room, leaving a shocked Kate in her wake.

Kate turned to the mirror and looked at her reflection. Seeing that the gash was still bleeding, she grabbed some paper towelsand dampened them withwater to try to clean it a bit and stem the bleeding. Her legs began to shake in a delayed reaction to the fear she'd felt when Mal was bullying her and she could feel the tears teetering on the edges of her lashes. There was no way she could go back in there; not like this. Mallory would be there besides, and deny everything. Looking back at her reflection, she wondered if what she'd said was true, if Sam would leave her because of the gash and the fact that she was so plain. She felt one tear fall and knew that she had to get out of there. She ran as fast as she could, shoes clicking on the tile, to the front of the hotel where she could flag a cab and just go home. She hated not telling Sam, but there was no way she could tell him now. He'd confront Mallory, she'd deny it and then the burden would be on her. There was no way she could prove it, besides; it was just the two of them in the ladies' room the entire time.

Once the sound of Kate's heels had evaporated down the hall, a pair of medium brown legs came down in one of the stalls. Opening the door carefully, Bonnie looked around to make sure that there was no one else in the room before coming out. She quickly made her way back to the main ballroom. She had to tell Sam what happened.

Sam had begun to wonder where Kate had gone to. It wasn't like her to disappear like this at all. He hoped that she came back soon. He'd planned on taking her around the monuments after the Dinner was over. Suddenly, he noticed Bonnie making a beeline for him with a worried look on her face.

"Bonnie, what's wrong? Have you seen Katie?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I did. She left, Sam," she replied quietly, hoping he wouldn't flip out.

"She what?!" He couldn't believe it. Why would she have left without telling him?

"Sam, you need to listen to me," Bonnie said quietly as she pulled him to the side. "Mallory confronted Kate in the restroom and hit her so hard that one of the rings Mal is wearing cut her cheek. She told Kate that once you saw the gash that you'd go running back to her and that Kate was to 'remember her place'. When Kate said that you'd sooner go to Laurie than back to her, she told Kate that she'd be getting a beating worse than any Jenny McGarry'd ever given her when she least expected it and that you wouldn't be able to protect her from it." She watched his face carefully. Bonnie knew that she had to keep him from throttling Mallory and overreacting to Kate's sudden departure.

She could see the worry in his eyes as he spoke. "Where'd she go?"

She fished out a key ring from her purse, pulled one key loose and handed it to him. "This is to her apartment, Sam. That's most likely where she went. You know how to get there?"

"No, I don't. She's never told me where she lives, Bonnie."

She knew what she had to do. Kate was her friend, she couldn't **not** help. "Come on, Sam. I'll drive you and make arrangements for a car to be on call for you for tomorrow."

The relief on his face was evident. "Thanks, Bonnie. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"If it means half as much as it will to Kate, I do. Come on, let's go."

The two left the ballroom in a hurry, after explaining to Toby that there was an emergency. Mallory watched them leave, wondering where Sam was rushing off to with that woman. "I'm not surprised that he found someone to replace her so fast," she whispered to herself.


	35. Real fright, real life

Lyrics from Sarah MacLaughlin's _'Good Enough'_.

* * *

"How do you know where she lives?" Sam asked as they drove through the streets of Southeast DC.

"She's a friend. She was afraid to tell you where she lived because of where it is."

"I know that she lives near Charlie, but that's about it," he said quietly.

"Well, you're about to find out," she said as she slowed to a stop in front of a house.

"This is it?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, this is it. She lives in the basement apartment. You have to go around the back to get to her front door. I'll wait while you get back there, and then I'll leave."

He didn't know what to think. They'd passed vagrants, a few drunks and quite a few people that looked like dealers and hookers. He couldn't believe that his sweet, innocent Kate lived in a neighborhood like this. He shook his head quickly to get rid of the thought. Right now, he needed tomake surethat she was OK. He undid his seatbelt and rested his hand on the door handle.

"Thanks for everything, Bonnie. I really appreciate it. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't told me what happened," he said gratefully.

She reached over and patted his hand. "Just take care of her, Sam. That's all I ask."

He smiled at her. "I will."

He got out of the car and opened the gate to the back of the house, latching it behind him once he was on the other side. He heard Bonnie pull away as he went down the stairs that led to her front door. He could see a faint light through the window on the door and knew that she was home. He slipped the key in the lock and began to open the door.

Kate let the tears flow freely as she cleaned the cut on her face. She felt awful just running out on Sam like that, but she didn't know what else to do. She couldn't believe that Mallory had threatened her like that in public, but it'd had the desired effect. She was now entirely scared, more of telling Sam about it than anything else. He wouldn't want her now, once he knew how weak she was. She listened to the song that she'd put on when she got home and remembered her childhood…

"_...Who's there that makes you so afraid? You're shaken to the bone. You know I don't understand, you deserve so much more than this..._"

By some fluke, he was able to get the door open without a problem. Shutting and locking it as quietly as he could, he looked around Kate's apartment and wondered how she was able to live there.

It was small; no larger than his bedroom and the guest room put together. The main room was split in two; half served as a living/dining room and the other half as her bedroom. There was a part of the floor that was tiled and he noticed a small stove and sink there, so he assumed that area served as the kitchen. Her bedroom wasn't much. A set of mattresses up on cinder blocks, a small closet and 2 dressers. He moved to get a closer look inside her bedroom, but he suddenly heard Kate crying from behind the only other door in the apartment, which, he assumed, led to the bathroom. The door was partially open, so he gently eased it open the rest of the way.

She had her hands on the edge of the sink and her head bent as she cried. Her tears stung the cut, but she didn't care. She was so thankful that Sam couldn't see her right now. She knew he'd be angry, but she had to leave when she did. She'd call him in the morning and…

"My Katie."

So soft, and yet it made her jump. Turning, she nearly fell over when she saw Sam in her doorway. Her hand flew to her chest as she tried to calm her breathing. Through the haze of her tears, she could see the worry and concern on his face as he crossed the room to her. He delicately touched the cheekbone above the cut and whispered, "You're hurt, baby girl. Let me take care of you."

Something inside her broke in that moment, and the tears came fast as he guided her to sit down. He spoke to her in soothing tones as he cleaned and bandaged the cut, but the only thing that she knew for sure was that something deep inside her ached with a pain that she'd never felt before.

Guiding her into the bedroom, he picked her up and settled her in his lap. He rocked her gently as he ran his fingers lightly up and down her arm while he whispered to her.

"Who hurt my angel? Who hurt my baby girl? I'm here now, little one. No one's going to hurt my Katie, never, ever. Shhhh. I'm here, sweetie. Sam's here and he loves you so very, very much. No one's going to hurt you ever again, baby doll, never again. Shhhh. Shhhh. I'm here, I'm here. You're safe now. I'll protect you, my sweet, precious Katie. I'll protect you."

It hurt him deeply to see her like this again. He could remember the last time she was like this, and remembered wondering if he'd ever see her smile again. He knew now that she would, but it would take time and a lot of special care on his part to show her that it was safe for her to be happy; that it wouldn't all be pulled away from her at the drop of a hat. He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips and was startled when she straightened up and looked in his eyes once he'd pulled away.

He could see that she was hurting, but he also saw desire like he'd never seen before. He knew he felt the same, but was hesitant. He didn't want to take advantage of her current state, but he wanted her so much, more than he ever had in his life. The air between them felt so thick to the point where it held them where they were.

He reached up and gently pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. He brushed away the tears that were still on her cheeks as he looked into her darkening eyes. "You have the most beautiful eyes. I love how expressive they are," he said in a soft voice heavy with emotion.

"Sam," she whispered thickly, holding his gaze. She brought her hand up to his face and lightly grazed his cheekbone with her fingertips. He could feel the emotion in her touch.

He slowly lowered his head to hers. "My sweet, darling Beth," he whispered against her lips before he captured them in a gentle, searing kiss.


	36. Matched set

Lyrics from Shania Twain's _You've Got a Way

* * *

_

She loved the feel of his fingers in her hair as they kissed. Firm, strong, yet so gentle, always so gentle. That sensation, combined with their kiss, made the world fall away for her. She'd never known how much she wanted him, needed him until that moment. In a sudden moment of clarity, she realized what had happened when he'd first touched her face.

She'd had one final wall up, one that she didn't even realize was there, and the sensation she felt was it finally crumbling away. Everything that was a part of her; her heart, her mind, her spirit, all of it was laid bare with nothing to protect it. Strangely enough, she wasn't afraid. She knew that Sam would never hurt her, never discount her intelligence or mock her feelings. Suddenly, she realized what Dr. Michaels had meant by her last comment to her in the hotel room in Minneapolis.

_"He's yours, Katie. It may not seem like it now, but he is. You'll find each other again and when you do, neither of you will let go."_

She belonged with Sam. Sam belonged with her. They were two matched halves that had found each other through a haze of tears and infinite kindness. They never should have been separated for as long as they had been.

Her reverie was broken by the sensation of Sam tracing her lips with his finger. Her eyes fluttered open and he gave her a loving smile. Looking into his eyes, she could see everything and it didn't scare her one bit. The depthless love and respect he had for her, the desire, his infinite kindness and patience; it was all there. She smiled softly and kissed his fingertip.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," she replied with a small giggle.

"What're you thinking about?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"How much I love you. How wonderful you are and how lucky I am that you love me."

"I'm the lucky one, Beth. I never imagined I'd ever find someone like you that loves me the way you do."

"What do you mean?" she said curiously.

"You love me the way no one ever has before, flaws and all. You were the only woman that asked to meet Laurie and wanted to become friends with her. You were the only one that believed me when I said that we were only friends and the only one that encouraged us to continue the friendship. You don't care what I do for a living; you only want me to be happy. You support me unconditionally; you challenge me and encourage me, even when I'm being absolutely horrible to you. You're not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong or when I'm acting like a total ass. You try your best to understand what I do and why there are times when it has to come first in my life. You have this constant, unwavering love for me that I can't even begin to understand, but that I can feel whenever you touch me, talk to me or even just look at me. I'll never understand what I did to deserve it, but I'm so glad that you do. I don't know what I'd do or who I'd be without you."

"Sa-am," she said shyly as she ducked her head.

"What? It's true. I wanted to ask you if you had a lighter or some matches."

She looked at him with a questioning expression. "Yeah, I've got a stick lighter by the stove. What do you…?"

Sam began to move, so she got off his lap so he could get up. "Don't worry about it. Just stay right here. I'm not going to set anything on fire, so relax, OK?"

She stood quietly in the bedroom and wondered what he was planning. After a little bit, she decided that her feet'd had enough for one night and moved to take off her shoes.

He found the lighter she'd mentioned and got to work. He'd noticed some candles scattered around the living room and got to work lighting them all, making sure that none of them created a fire hazard. If he couldn't take her around the city, he was going to at least give her a romantic night right there in her apartment. He liked the CD that she'd put on, so he didn't ask to change it. Once he'd lit all the candles, he turned off the lights, startling Kate.

"Sam? What's going on?" She sounded nervous, and maybe a little scared.

He walked toward her with his hand out. "Dance with me, Beth," he said quietly.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh, Sam…"

He took her hand and slipped an arm around her waist. "Let me guess," he said gently, "no one's ever asked you to dance before?"

"No, it's not that. It's…I can't believe you did this. It's beautiful, honey. I don't know what to say."

"All the candles are yours. I noticed them when I walked in. I'd wanted to take you around the monuments tonight, but that plan went out the window when Bonnie told me what happened. I know that being at the Dinner tonight was hard for you, so I wanted to do something special, just the two of us."

He felt Kate rest her head on his shoulder and sigh quietly. "You're so good to me, Sam."

"Nothing but the very best for my girl. You're too special to have anything less."

They slowly danced around the room, just enjoying the closeness they shared. It'd been so long since they'd done anything like this; both had been busy with work and often too wiped out at night to really enjoy each other.

Sam closed his eyes and savored the way she felt in his arms. He loved holding her, being close to her. It was like touching pure joy. He remembered the way he'd felt when he first realized she was the one he'd brought in from the snow, how he felt like he was holding every dream and wish he'd ever had in his arms. He listened to the words of the song as he tightened his hold on her.

_"…You've got a way with words. You get me smiling even when it hurts. There's no way to measure what your love is worth. I can't believe the way you get through to me._

_It's in the way you want me, it's in the way you hold me. The way you show me just what love's made of, it's in the way we make love._

_Oh, how I adore you, like no one before you. I love you just the way you are…"_

He couldn't help but think how perfectly they described Kate. She'd gotten through to him in ways no one else ever had. When they first met, she touched a part of him he didn't even know existed. Her childhood troubles made him fight to show her the good in the world and in herself, that she was worthy of love and affection, that she _deserved_ them just as much as anyone else. She had been so shy and scared at first, but he'd given her something she'd never had before: someone willing to listen and care about her and her troubles. Even after all that she'd been through, she was still brightly innocent, like a well-sheltered child. That innocence had dazzled him and showed him that no matter how bad things were, the world could still be an inherently good place.

He'd never understood how she'd never become cynical or guarded the way you'd expect someone in her situation to be. Once she'd gotten to know him just a little bit better, she gave without reservations or expectations. He was stunned by how quickly she could put aside her own pain if she thought there was someone that needed comfort. Her odd sense of humor made him laugh, and she could hold up her end of a conversation. She was smarter than most of his classmates, and he'd been amazed at how quickly she picked things up just by listening.

He traced the edge of the bandage with his finger and felt her move. Opening his eyes, he saw her green-gold eyes looking up at him and a gentle smile on her face. Those eyes. Those eyes that had stopped him in his tracks in the middle of Raleigh-Durham Airport, that had conveyed her feelings even when she wouldn't, where he could see his future. Even now, he could see everything; their wedding, children, grandchildren, all of it, and the entire time, they were side by side. Suddenly, he realized what he needed to do.

He gave her a soft smile in return. Ever so slowly, he began to lower his head to hers. He could see her eyes flutter partially closed as he touched her face.

"My Beth," he said softly.

"My own, my Sam," she replied in a whisper.

His mouth was a fraction of an inch from hers when he threw caution and sanity to the wind.

"Marry me, Beth. Be my wife."


	37. Moving forward

Sorry it's been so long since I updated last, but real life decided to bitch-slap me around for a little while. I'm glad everyone's enjoying this so far. There's lots more to come, so don't go too far.

* * *

He hardly had to wait for his answer.

"Yes," she whispered against his lips just before they kissed.

She could feel his unrestrained joy as they kissed. She tried to convey every bit of love that she'd ever felt for him through their kiss and her touch as her hands roamed his back beneath his jacket. She could feel the strength that hovered just beneath his gentle exterior and knew that she'd never have to fear the world again. He would protect her and she him. Each would always be safe with the other.

He was positively euphoric. The woman he loved more than life wanted to marry him. Until that moment, he had no idea that you could feel love as a sensation coming from another person, but that'sexactly whathe felt Kate's hands drift across his back and through her kiss. He could feel just how much she loved him and it made him dizzy with happiness.

He let his own hands drift across the open expanse of skin left bare by her dress. He barely registered the small scars scattered across her upper back like Braille dots. The only thing he cared about was the sensation of her skin underneath his fingertips. Slowly, gently, he worked the fingers of one hand beneath one of the straps of her dress and slipped it off her shoulder. Trailing his fingers back up her arm, he felt a raised bump as they came over her shoulder. Gently breaking the kiss, he softly ran a finger over it.

"Where did this come from, sweetheart? I never knew you had a scar like this."

"Bad medical advice," she replied, a hint of resignation in her voice.

"What happened?" He could feel himself becoming slightly worried.

"I used to have a mole there. When I went to a new doctor for a physical, he wanted to have it biopsied, but the only way to do that was to remove it, so I let him. I was a little pissed when the results came back negative, like I knew they would. Now I've got this," she moved her head to indicate the scar, "monstrosity on me. Ever since then, I try not to wear anything that doesn't cover my shoulders. When I do, like this dress, I feel like everyone's staring at it."

He smiled at her. "I like it."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It looks like a rosebud. I think it's kind of pretty, if that's possible for a scar."

She giggled softly. "I don't know. It might be."

He gave a small, knowing smile as he lowered his head to kiss her shoulder. Ever so softly, he began to trace its shape with the tip of his tongue. He felt her bring that arm up and then her nails on the back of his neck. Slowly, he kissed his way along her shoulder and up her neck. He could feel her reaction through the way her fingers were curling up at the back of his neck. He ran the tip of his tongue around the back of her ear and heard her moan softly as he came over the top of it. He made a point of paying special attention to that spot until he felt Kate drop slightly.

"Like that?" he whispered in her ear. He wanted her so much; he could only hope that she'd consent. He only wanted to show her how beautiful she was, to give her the attention that she deserved in ways no one ever had.

"Sam," she replied breathlessly. No one had ever done that to her before. She felt her knees give way from the pleasure he was creating, but he steadied her, just as he always had. She knew that this was their night in so many ways. She could feel his hand slowly tracing its way up her back along the zipper line of her dress. She wanted this just as much as he did, maybe even more.

The only other contact she'd had with this intensity was when she was raped. The difference between that and what she was doing with Sam were polar opposites. Where the first one had been entirely against her will and she'd fought it the entire time, this was something she wanted, that she was willing, if not eager, to be party to. She knew that with Sam, it was right. It had always been right.

She felt his finger flip up her zipper pull as it came to the top of the dress. She moved her head and gave him a soft kiss as she pulled his bow tie loose. Stepping out of his embrace, she blew out all the candles except one. Holding it slightly in front of her, she looked up at him and said, "Let's go to the bedroom."


	38. Getting closer

He could hardly believe what was happening. Not only did he have her consent, she was the one leading the way. He knew that her behavior in that moment wasn't license to do as he wished with her; rather, it was a signal that he had to be just that much more careful. For all he knew, she could be acting like this because she thought it was what he expected, not because she wanted what it would lead to.

She set the candle on the top of her dresser and turned to find Sam standing in the doorway. He'd taken off his jacket and was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets and the remnants of his bow tie still around his neck. He had a small smile on his face, but she could tell that it didn't reach his eyes.

"Sweetie, what is it?" she asked.

"Beth, I-I don't…I want you to do this because _you_ want to, not because you think that I expect it. You're what's important to me. If you don't want…"

She laid a hand on his arm. "Sam, stop. I'm not as fragile as you seem to think I am. I'm not going to break if you decide to kiss me a little harder or pull me into your arms a little rougher than you normally do. I want this just as much as you do. Now," she said as she reached up and began to unbutton his shirt, "are you going to help me or do I have to do this by myself?"

He brought one hand up to still hers and he lightly stroked her cheek with the back of the other. "I never thought you were fragile, love. You're stronger and more solid than anyone I've ever met. I've been so gentle with you because I thought that's what you needed after everything you've been through. I-I was afraid…afraid that if I was rough with you that," his voice caught slightly and she searched his face to understand what he was feeling, "that you'd…"

"That'd I'd think you were the same as the guy that raped me? Oh, Sam...," she brought one hand up to cup his cheek, "I could never think that, never. You care about what I'm feeling; you make sure that I'm comfortable whenever we're together. No matter what we're doing, you worry about _me_. That's something he never did. Besides," she said softly, "I love you, and I know that you love me. That's why I was crying the way I was when you were taking care of me. I have nothing left, Sam. Everything's out there in plain sight." Seeing the confused look on his face, she continued. "I was crying so hard because I felt the last wall inside me fall away, a wall I didn't even know was there. I have nothing to hide behind anymore." She took one of his hands and placed it on her chest. "It's yours, Sam. _I'm_ yours. Completely, entirely."

He nearly pulled back at the electric sensation he felt when she placed his hand over her heart. Looking into her eyes, he understood what she'd meant. Before tonight, he could see her feelings in her eyes, but it was if he was seeing them through some kind of hazy translucent filter. Now the filter had been pulled away and he was able to see everything in stark, minute detail. He saw how much she loved him, her nervousness and desire. He was seeing things that he never had before and was speechless.

Slowly, never breaking contact, he brought his hand up to the side of her face. She could barely feel his whisper-light touch on her jawline as he slipped his other arm around her waist and pulled her into him. She felt his hand drift back from her face to the back of her head and into her hair. "Mine," she barely heard him whisper before they kissed, "All mine."

He kissed her like never before; controlling, firm, and possessive. He couldn't believe how she was responding to him. She clung to him with an iron grip as if he was the only stable thing that existed and yet her mouth was so soft and passive beneath his. He was pleasantly surprised and found that this duality in her turned him on. Breaking the kiss gently, he saw that her eyes fairly glittered in the candlelight.

"I didn't break, did I, sweetheart?" she said with a small smile.

"No, you didn't, precious," he returned her smile.

She felt his hand begin to steal its way up her back to the top of her dress and wondered if he could sense her apprehension. She dropped her eyes, afraid that he'd see her nervousness and inexperience. He knew immediately that there was something wrong and touched the side of her face. This was something you didn't force.

"Hey, you OK? We don't have to, you know. It's entirely up to you, Beth. I want you to be comfortable with whatever happens," he said gently.

"I-I'm just…I don't know..."

"Nervous? I am, too. I want to make this special for you, for both of us."

"It's not just that, it's…I've…I've never…"

"Never?"

"Not since…"

He knew then that this was one time that, no matter what she said, he'd treat her as if the slightest tap would cause her to shatter. She'd never been shown love and affection, not like this, and he knew she was scared. She had only known violence before now, and he was determined that she would only know gentleness from that moment on. He slipped his finger under her chin to tip her face up to his and he could see the nervousness and the slightest hint of tears in her eyes. He gave her a soft, tender kiss, like so many that they'd shared before. He needed to do this, to let her know that she was safe, that he wouldn't hurt her the way she'd been before.

"You're in charge, little one. You tell me if I'm hurting you or if I'm making you uncomfortable, even the least little bit, and I'll stop right then. You call the shots."

The apprehension that had clouded her face fled as he said that. Before now, what she wanted was never considered, but she knew that would never be the case again. With a small smile, she reached behind her and began to pull at the zipper at the back of her dress. As he kissed her forehead, she felt one of his hands come around hers and heard him whisper, "May I?" Releasing the pull, she brought up her hands to continue unbuttoning his shirt as he slowly worked the zipper open. She slipped her hands up his torso as she began to map the unfamiliar territory of his body for the first time.

She felt his fingers trace up her spine once he'd finished the zipper. "Soft, so soft," he said in a quiet, husky whisper that gave her chills. His hands gave a slight, obvious tug at the straps of her dress to try to slip them off her arms in order to remove the dress. She looked into his face and could see the question in his eyes, which she answered by stepping back from him and pulling her arms back slightly, allowing the dress to fall into a pool of black fabric surrounding her feet.


	39. Roadblock

She'd never felt more exposed in her life. She stood before him in little more than a yard's length of fabric and the most he'd lost was his jacket and tie. She stepped backwards out of the circle of her dress, head bowed and hands clasped in front of her. She was afraid; afraid to look up, for fear he would be laughing at her. She knew she wasn't pretty; she never really had been, or, at least, that's what she'd been told.

She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut to keep the tears in. There was no way she could let Sam see her cry, not now. She knew she could hold it in; she had to. There was just no other way right now. She refused to let him see her cry, even though she had every reason to. The last time she'd been this exposed was when she'd been raped, and there was nothing she could do to stop the fear from coming back, even though she knew Sam would never hurt her. He apologized if he thought he'd squeezed her hand too hard.

He knew there was something wrong. He could feel her fear and sadness from where he stood and knew he had to even things up to help her feel more comfortable. He divested himself of the rest of his clothes, save his boxers, faster than he ever had in his life. Stepping over her dress, he crossed the room and stood before her.

"Beth," he whispered, but she didn't move. He laid one hand on hers and brought the other around her and pulled her close. The initial skin-to-skin contact startled both of them; she by his gentle heat, him by her soft, cool warmth. He gently began to caress her back very lightly, almost as a gentle reassurance that nothing would hurt her. He felt her unclasp her hands and very slowly put her arms around him. As she rested her head against his heart, he knew what had caused her to close off.

She was still scared. She could be as brave, sometimes even braver, than some of the agents on the President's detail, but when she was frightened, it paralyzed her. She'd try to fight her way through it, and sometimes she'd succeed only to have the fear resurface and send her even further back than where she'd started from. He knew that's what she was going through.

"Did you ever talk to anyone about this, little one, besides me?" He kept his voice quiet, neutral. She needed love and support right now, and it wouldn't help her at all if she thought she was being judged or accused. He had a bad feeling about her answer, and it was confirmed when he felt her shake her head against him. He forced his anger at Leo and Jenny back deep inside where it couldn't hurt Kate and made himself concentrate on how much he loved her and wanted to help her through this.

"I want you to listen to me, sweetie. I'm going to go inside and hang my stuff over one of the chairs so it doesn't get too wrinkled. While I'm doing that, I want you to change into whatever sleep stuff you normally wear and get into bed. When I'm done, I'll join you and we'll snuggle up and get some sleep." He felt her stiffen and try to step away from him, but he kept his arm around her.

Looking into her eyes, he knew that he'd been right. He could see her anguish and fear so close to the surface, as well as the tears she was fighting back. She started to open her mouth to say something, but he pressed a finger to her lips to quiet her.

"I know, precious. Believe me, it's not that I don't want this, that I don't want _you_, but your pain is still too fresh, even after all these years. Beth, if you knew how many nights I fought against myself as I held you while you slept, you'd know that my doing this isn't from a lack of desire. You are so amazingly beautiful right now that I…I don't even know how to describe it. The thing is, pretty wrapping can only do so much. It doesn't mean a lot if a box is wrapped up with the most beautiful trappings in the world if it's empty. Let me help you heal your heart and your spirit, and then we can take a look at what else is under that pretty paper, OK?"

She nodded, and he gave her a little squeeze and a kiss on the top of her head before he let her go. When he got back to his things, he turned to look at her, but she was facing the wall as she went through one of her drawers to get something to sleep in. Picking up his things, he looked toward her again and said quietly, "I love you." When she didn't respond as she always did, he knew that it was bad.

Pulling off her bra and stockings, she quickly threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in. She scrambled into bed, leaving the candle lit so that he could find his way back. She turned on her side so that she was facing the wall with her back towards the room. Even though she knew he loved her, and had seen her in tears before, she was still afraid to let him see her cry. She hated the fact that she felt so small and weak, like a child. She was supposed to be an adult now, not easily driven to tears and emotion like this. She was upset and angry and scared and didn't know how to process any of it or in what order.

Coming back into the room, he saw how she was lying on the bed and closed his eyes for a moment. It was going to be a long night. She was trying to close herself off so that she wouldn't feel any of the torturous emotions and to stop herself from hurting. After checking the candle to make sure that it was safe to burn where it was, he climbed into bed next to her. He touched her trembling shoulder but got no response. Knowing that she'd eventually explode from all of the feelings running through her, he knew he had to keep trying to get her to open up.

"I know that you're trying not to cry, baby girl. Don't fight it. I've never thought any less of you for crying and for feeling things as deeply as you do. It's one of the reasons I love you so much. You're not alone anymore, Katie; you don't have to wait until everyone's asleep before you let everything out. Please, honey, let me help you."

She said something in response, but her voice was so soft that he had to strain to hear her. Even doing that, he couldn't make out what she said.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I couldn't hear you. Tell me again."

She began to turn onto her back, and he steeled himself for what he might see. Even in the candlelight, he could see that her eyes were now a dark brown and filled with tears.

"Then why do I feel like such a baby for wanting to cry? Why do I feel so alone? I'm scared, Sam. I-I'm s-s-so sc-scared." Her voice broke as she talked and the tears began to make their way gently down her face. He traced their paths with his finger as he tried to figure out what to say to her when she spoke again.

"I only wanted someone to care, that's all. Just someone to hold me and tell me that it would be all right, that I wasn't a bad girl because of what happened. Why didn't anybody care about me, Sam? Didn't they know I was hurt inside? Did I do something bad that made them not care? I can fix it, I know I can. Please, tell me what I did wrong. I-I just want…" She had such a sad expression on her face that he could feel his heart breaking for her and the girl that'd she'd been.

"Shhhh. Hush, little angel. Tell me what hurts so I can make it all better. You've never been anything but a very good girl; you didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart, you never have. Tell me what hurts, baby, tell me."

She brought her hand up and laid it in the center of her chest. "Here."

This was dangerous territory and he knew it, but he couldn't not try to make some kind of gesture to help her feel better. Touching her face lightly, he bent his head and laid a gentle kiss on the spot her fingers pointed to. Slowly, carefully, he laid his hand over hers, all the while searching her face for any sign of fear. "Here?"

She slipped her hand out from beneath his as she nodded, the tears coming a little faster now. His hand now rested flat in the center of her chest, and he was amazed by what he could feel.

It was as if he could feel the jagged shards of her heart beneath his fingertips. He could feel every sharp edge, every point on each individual piece. He honestly believed that if he pulled his hand away, it would be sliced up and bleeding from all of the edges he felt. Knowing he needed to do something, he began to make slow, tentative circles, all the while leaving his hand flat where it was.


	40. Reassurance of reality

He continued to make slow, gentle circles over her heart as he watched her face. She'd closed her eyes, but her tears continued unabated. He was finding it hard to control his own emotions as he comforted her. He wanted to rail at Leo for not seeing what his wife and daughter had done to her, to throttle both Jenny and Mal for hurting her in so many ways and adding to the pain and homesickness that was already there. He wanted to know why none of them had done anything to help her through the psychological trauma of the rape, why nobody comforted her when she was scared and hurting, why no one had shown her more than an offhand gesture of love.

Most of all, though, he wanted to cry. To cry for her and the girl she'd never had the chance to be, her lost innocence, her fragile self-confidence, the fact that she was so painfully shy and scared. He considered what she would've been like if she'd been given the love and care that she needed when she was younger. Wondered if she would've been less afraid of people and situations she wasn't familiar with, less frightened of criticism, regardless of its form. The one thing that he thought about the most, though, was what she might have been like had he been there to protect and care about her the way he'd wanted to when she went back to Massachusetts.

He noticed that her tears had nearly stopped and her breathing had become a bit more regular. Her face looked less tense and she seemed to be holding herself less rigidly than before. Softly, just as he had earlier, he slipped his hand up to her face without breaking contact. He lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb and leaned over to give her a small kiss on the forehead as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey there, pretty girl. How're you feeling?" he said softly.

She managed a small smile as she looked up at him. Looking into her still-brown eyes, he knew. There was so much sadness there, so much pain. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from showing how much it troubled him. He couldn't let her know how much this bothered him, because he knew she'd feel badly about causing him to worry and she'd begin to hold it all inside again. He'd seen what that had done to her when they first met, and he'd be damned if he was going to let it happen again.

"Tell me what happened between you and Mallory, Beth. Help me understand what you're feeling," he said gently as he looked into her eyes.

She sniffled quietly. Just thinking about what had happened made her teary all over again, but as she looked into Sam's eyes, all she could see was his love for her. She knew he was asking out of concern and an honest effort to understand what she was going through. She blinked and said in a whisper, "Hold me. I need to feel you holding me, Sam. Please."

The words were hardly out of her mouth before his arms were around her, pulling her close. He moved one hand to her head and gently pressed it to his chest. Closing her eyes, she could hear his heartbeat and knew then that wherever he was, she would be as well. His gentle voice continued to calm her.

"Shhhh. I've got you, little one. I'm right here. No one's going to hurt you, I'll make sure of that. You're safe now. Don't be scared. Tell me what happened, sweetheart. Let me take some of the pain away."

She let herself melt into his embrace. It felt so good to give up control for once and let someone else do the worrying. She was so tired, so very, very tired. She wanted to stop fighting, stop looking over her shoulder at the least little noise. As she continued to listen to his heartbeat, she could feel herself surrendering more and more. She exhaled deeply, letting down the barriers that had been keeping her from talking about what happened.

"She always calls me 'mouse'; I guess 'cause I'm so plain and shy. She said that I either paid you to bring me with you," Sam cringed when he heard that, knowing that one comment alone had sliced her fragile self-confidence to ribbons, "or that you were really desperate for a date. She said that I wasn't dressed properly and that you had much better taste than to be seen with me." He could feel the heat of her tears on his skin as she talked. Sniffling softly, she continued, "She said that you wouldn't think I was pretty with this cut and you wouldn't want to be with me anymore; that you'd go to her instead. I told her that you'd sooner go to Laurie and risk the scandal than go to her." He smiled to himself and gave her a small squeeze. She still had some fight, even though what Mal had said to her had really done a number on her. "That's when she told me that I'd get a beating much worse than anything that I ever got from Aunt Jenny and that you wouldn't be able to protect me from it. I didn't let her see me cry, Sam. I didn't let her see me cry, but I'm so afraid now. I'm afraid that I'm really going to get it and I won't be able to bear it up the way I have in the past. I'm scared and I don't know what to do."

"Hey," he said softly as he ruffled her hair, "you're no mouse; far from it. Yeah, you're shy, but to me, that's one of your most endearing qualities. You don't force things; you don't try to be what you're not. I love that about you. We both know why you came to the dinner; and I think that you were the best-dressed one there." His expression turned slightly serious as he searched her eyes. "You really don't realize how beautiful you are, do you?"

She moved her head slightly so she was no longer looking up at him. "I'm not beautiful, I know that. I'm plain and small; that's all I've ever been."

He stared at her in shock. "You don't understand at all, do you, Beth? You _are_ beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful, from your amazing eyes to your gentle, loving heart and everything in between. You have the most exquisite spirit; always so giving, you never stop worrying about other people and put your own problems aside if you think that someone needs help or comfort. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Don't you remember the first night you were at the apartment with Mike and I, and you and I talked about school? I told you how I'd been through a similar experience to yours and the first thing that you said was, 'I'm sorry you had to go through this, too. I wish I could've been there with you when it was happening.' I couldn't believe it. You were already in so much pain, but you forgot it in an instant because you thought I needed comfort. Even when I said that it probably wouldn't have helped much and that you would've been treated the same, you said that…,"

"I didn't care. I still could've been your friend, if you'd let me. My being there would've at least given you someone to talk to and make you feel better," she finished in a whisper. She looked back up at him with tears in her eyes. She couldn't get used to the idea that someone thought she was beautiful. She was scared that it wasn't real; that she'd wake up and it would all be a dream. A wonderful, torturous dream; a reminder of what she couldn't have, what she'd never have.

He hated to see tears in her eyes. It reminded him of the night they met, the years of pain and heartbreak he'd seen in her eyes at just a glance and all the time she'd been alone, with no one to comfort her or listen to her troubles. He touched her face with the barest bit of pressure. "Pretty girl. My pretty, pretty Beth. Always so beautiful, so exquisite. I love you, my sweetheart, forever." He continued to run his fingertips along her cheekbone, stopping only to brush away the occasional tear that would make its way down her face.

"I love you, too, Sam. I love you too. Please, just tell me one thing?"

He could hear the slight bit of fear in her voice. "Anything, my precious."

She looked up at him, and he could see the fear in her eyes as she said softly, "Tell me that this is real. Please tell me that I'm not dreaming. I need to know that this isn't a dream, Sam. I couldn't take it if this was a dream."

He barely brushed her lips with his. "If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. I'd rather spend the rest of my life here with you than go through my days knowing that I can't hold you, that I'll never," he brought his head close to hers before whispering against her mouth, "kiss you."

Their kiss was soft, possessive and tender. It was something that both of them needed in that moment; to be reassured that the love between them was no dream, that the person they were with wasn't some cruel illusion.


End file.
